Living In A Moment You Would Die For
by KBear143
Summary: There may not really be a right place or time to fall in love, but there certainly is a wrong one. Jumping out of a plane into combat hardly qualifies as a date. I chose this life. Now I have to accept that it may not be all that I thought it was going to be. (Insert all obvious disclaimers here)
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

August 15, 1948

"Three years ago today, the war that brought this family together came to an end. Now, we come together to celebrate the lives of those we lost, and the twists of fate that bonded this diverse group forever. I'm so glad that all of you could make it. Let's enjoy this reunion, this beautiful city, and each other," Bill said, smiling from behind the podium.

God, I loved that man. He made my heart smile. Even so, I couldn't believe I'd let him trick me into this. Well, to be fair, it wasn't really a trick. It was more of a lost bet, but still… I didn't see the point, or why he was so insistent. Regardless, a bet was a bet, and I'd do anything for him, so here I was.


	2. Chapter 1

I had heard stories of Captain Sobel around the field hospital. I was less than pleased when I learned that I would be training under him at Chilton Foliat. His haughtiness was apparent from the beginning, and it didn't take long for him to make clear that he had no confidence that I, a woman, would be able to withstand the rigors of combat. I did not point out that, from what I had heard, he wasn't able to withstand them either. I simply accepted his badgering and worked hard to prove him wrong. He was not any more disrespectful to me than he was to anyone else. His hard-lined approach seemed to galvanize us, as I was sure it had with Easy Company. Truth be told, Captain Herbert Sobel had a lot to do with our success.

Upon completion of our jump training, I learned that I would be assigned to Easy Company as a Field Nurse. The nerves hit me immediately. Of course, I was concerned with being accepted as a woman. More than that, though, I was already aware of the reputation that Easy Company had only just begun to build. They had jumped in on D-Day, and pulled off a textbook takedown of the guns at Brecourt Manor. Easy Company was the best of the best, and they were expected to see a lot of action, which is why they were being assigned a Field Nurse to assist the medics already in the field.

I had no idea what to expect, and what I found was certainly not even within my realm of possibilities. When I reached my newly assigned company, I saw a group of baby-faced young men. They didn't look particularly like the gallant warriors I'd heard so much about, at least until one of them looked up. What I saw in his eyes was a man who had aged years in a matter of weeks. Clearly, these men had been through hell already. Some eyes held anger and contempt. Others held pain or discomfort. Still more showed pure exhaustion. Certainly, none of them held trust for the new arrival, and they had yet to learn that I would be accompanying them as they moved forward. I had my work cut out for me.

"You lost, Doll-face?" asked a handsome, strong-jawed soldier with a thick Pennsylvania accent. "I didn't know they were sending in the U.S.O.!" I decided now was as good a time as any to make an impression.

"As a matter of fact, Philly Boy, I'm looking for Captain Winters. Perhaps, while you're checking out my goods, you could point me in the right direction. Oh and today is your lucky day. The U.S.O. sent me special, just for you, to accompany Easy and distract Hitler while we retake Europe."

His companions smirked and he stared at me, slack-jawed, for a moment. I held his stare until he pointed in the direction of a tent, and then winked over my shoulder at him as I headed in the direction he had indicated. I heard a wolf whistle as I walked away, and glanced back to see a tall, skinny soldier grinning at me over Philly Boy's shoulder. I smiled and continued to meet Captain Winters.

Winters had to be the most polite man I'd ever met in my life. He welcomed me graciously, and indicated that he'd received wonderful reports on my skills. He made sure that I knew that he had every confidence in my abilities, and that I was to approach him directly if there were any problems with the men. In a matter of moments, I felt a deep, abiding respect for this man. Clearly, he was born to be a leader, and although I still felt fear, I knew that with Winters, we'd been given the best opportunity to make it home alive.

"And this," Winters continued, walking me into the medic tent, "is Eugene Roe." I looked over and met the soft eyes of a handsome medic. "Eugene, this is Kasia. She will be your field nurse. Kasia, stick with Roe. He's a good man, and he'll take care of you." I saluted, and he returned my salute before taking his leave.

"You can call me 'Doc', ma'am," came a quiet Cajun accent. I smiled at him, and saw color rise to his cheeks. He didn't seem the type that smiled much, but I saw one playing briefly at his lips. We stood in silence for a moment, and then I offered to help him finish rolling the bandages he had been working on when I entered. We spent the rest of the afternoon in comfortable silence.

That evening, as the company gathered for the evening meal, Captain Winters introduced me. To my surprise, there were no voices of dissent at the news that a woman would be accompanying them into future battle. I wondered for a moment, until Winters leaned into me and whispered, "They all heard about your first exchange with Guarnere. They're too impressed by your guts to have a problem with you at the moment."

He nodded his head toward "Philly Boy," who was looking up at me with an amused smirk on his face. So, his name was Guarnere? I waited until the Captain had moved on, and then walked toward him.

"Doll-face," he teased as I approached, "I almost look forward to getting injured." I couldn't help but smile.

"So you're the 'Wild Bill' I've been hearing so much about? You don't look that scary to me."

"The one and only, and you've got nothing to be concerned about, darlin'. I'd never mean to scare a lady." At this, he threw an arm around my shoulder. "C'mon. Let me show you around." He spent the next few minutes introducing me to the men I'd be caring for, and telling me stories about many of them. He made me laugh, and his strong arm around me made me feel totally safe in the middle of a war zone. I felt like I'd gained a brother, especially when we reached the skinny soldier who had whistled at me earlier.

"This here is Joe Liebgott. No matter what you've heard about me, this guy is crazier than I am. Oh, and he deeply apologizes for his inappropriate whistling at you earlier, don'tcha Joe?" Joe just sent a Cheshire Cat grin my way as Bill glared at him.

"Uh oh, boys. This one is already under the protection of 'Wild Bill.' Better be on your best behavior."

I smiled sweetly, ducking from under Bill's arm and approaching Joe. He watched with interest as I moved forward, looking down at me as I came so close that the swell of my breasts beneath my uniform brushed against him. Before he could react, I stole his bayonet from his belt and grazed the sharpened point of it against the bulge in the front of his pants. He inhaled sharply.

"Now that I have your attention, handsome, let me make it clear that while I thoroughly appreciate Bill's desire to defend my honor, I am quite capable of doing so myself." Slipping the bayonet back into its rightful place, I gave it a little pat, causing him to jump. Then I winked at him, and turned to take the arm of a laughing Bill Guarnere.

Behind me, I heard Joe release the breath he'd been holding as some of the boys elbowed him. Amidst the jokes about him finally meeting his match, I smiled when I heard him say, "Boys, that may well be the sexiest woman I've ever met in my life."

"Doll, you're gonna fit in just fine around here."


	3. Chapter 2

If anything came out of my training with the contentious Captain Herbert Sobel, it was an understanding of the importance of physical conditioning. While I despised his methods, and questioned his combat leadership skills, I knew that if I were going to be able to hold my own with Easy Company in the field, I couldn't have picked a better person to train under.

The morning of my first full day with Easy Company, I woke up early and changed into my PT gear behind a blanket the guys had put up for me. I could hear the guys getting up and milling around, as we still had an hour or so before breakfast, and I stepped back into the open space as I put my hair up in a ponytail.

"Good morning, guys. Anybody up for a morning run?"

"Damn, Doll!" Bill replied, walking over and spinning me around. "I've never seen PT gear look so good."

I laughed at him as I turned, and he introduced me to a few of the guys that I hadn't had the opportunity to meet the day before. I heard a familiar soft-spoken drawl, and spun to see if my ears were deceiving me.

"Kasia? You're Easy's new field nurse?"

"Darrell? Is that you?" He smiled and nodded, and I threw myself into his hug. "Oh my God! Wait, where is Popeye? Did he…"

"No, no. He got shot in the backside on D-Day, but he's gonna be fine."

"Really? Wait until I see him! Oh, I'm so happy to see you!"

We could see the others around us, waiting for an explanation, and I quickly explained that we had met when he and Popeye were attending a machinist course in Norfolk, Virginia. We had remained friends, and when they had gone to Richmond to enlist, I was with them, signing up to be a nurse.

"Joining me for a run, Shifty?" He grinned and nodded, quickly changing to his PT gear and following me out the door. Now, I felt completely at home.

Shifty Powers was one of the kindest men I had ever known in my life, and a dear friend. The men had a lot of respect for him, and the fact the he thought highly of me seemed to say a lot. As I fell into the daily routines of life in Aldbourne, they began to treat me as one of their own. Roe taught me everything he could about combat medicine, and thanks to Sobel's grueling program at Chilton Foliat, I was able to hold my own in PT. The only real indication that they still thought of me as a woman came when they fought to see who got to run behind me while I was wearing my PT shorts.

The only man I was never completely at ease around was Joe Liebgott. Don't get me wrong. He did make every effort to be semi-polite to me on most days. There was just something about him that made me a little dizzy. He had this wildness about him, a fire in his eyes that I could feel every time he looked at me. That first day we met, our little confrontation had created a tension between us… a friction that, rather than being a source of conflict, seemed to rub against me in just the right places and drive me to distraction. He knew it too, because teasing me along with Luz and Bill was among his favorite pastimes, and whenever he knew he was getting to me, he'd always flash me a sly smile and a wink that shot heat straight to my most sensitive areas.

Before we knew it, two months had gone by. It was the end of a humid August in Aldbourne, and Winters had decided it was a bit hot for an afternoon run, so our time would be better spent blowing off some steam at the make-shift rifle range. He suggested that I tag along because the unfortunate reality that I might be required to use a weapon at some point was one that I needed to become comfortable with.

Our group was made up of me, Winters, Shifty, Bill, Luz, Doc Roe, Bull Randleman, Roy Cobb, Carwood Lipton, John Martin, and Joe. Everyone but Shifty and Winters looked a little skeptical as we reached the range.

"Why don't you go last, Doll? That way you can watch us. It may help," Bill suggested, patting my shoulder and using the "big brother" tone he sometimes adopted with me. I nodded and stepped back, allowing the others to take their shots.

"Alright, Kasia. You're up. Let's see what you got," called Winters, motioning me toward the line. Bull and Lipton began offering suggestions and warnings about aim and how to handle the kick of the rifle, clearly concerned. The others suggested that I take my time, or that I just do the best I could.

"Chances are that you'll never have to pick one up anyway," offered John Martin, trying to reassure me.

I reached the firing line, where Joe, who had been the last shooter, was still standing. He offered me that butterfly-inducing half-smile of his and held out his rifle.

"Your turn, princess. You can use mine, but I'm not sure if you can handle one this big," he told me, his voice dripping with innuendo.

I heard Shifty laugh and I shot him a smile. He winked at me, saying, "Go ahead, darlin'. Show these boys why they put you with Easy." I looked back at Joe, who was still grinning down at me, and took the rifle out of his hands, waving him out of my way.

Winters patted Shifty on the shoulder as they walked back toward him, and motioned for Joe and the others to pay attention. "You might want to watch this."

I laid the rifle on the ground and knelt before it, looking up at Winters. He gave me a small nod, and I went to work. I quickly disassembled, then reassembled Joe's rifle, rolled over and crawled to the firing line, letting loose a hail of bullets that hit near the center of each of the targets. When my ammunition was spent, I stood and dusted myself off, checking over the rifle before walking back toward the group.

"That's my girl," Shifty announced proudly. "You've still got it." He hugged me as I reached him, and I planted a proud kiss on his cheek.

Winters smiled at the group of slack-jawed soldiers now staring at me. "Perhaps I should have mentioned that Kasia was sent to Easy because her combination of medical skill and shooting prowess made her the best fit for our purposes in this war."

Luz was the first to ask, "Where the hell did you learn how to shoot like that?"

"Well, George, before I enlisted, I had the good fortune to make friends with a sharp-shooting sweetheart named Shifty Powers. He taught me everything I know." Shifty grinned and blushed, nodding at me.

"She's the best student I ever had."

I looked over at Joe, who was staring at me with an expression that I couldn't quite read. Walking over, I held his rifle out to him.

"Thanks for letting me get my hands on your big gun, Joe. Hope I wasn't too rough with it." I allowed him to take the gun from me, and then headed back to the truck, winking at him over my shoulder as he stared after me.

Shifty smiled and elbowed him, "She's a firecracker, Joe."

Bill laughed and added, "Yeah, Joe. You may have finally met your match. That little lady right there might be just what you need."

"Bill, what I need right now is a long, cold shower."


	4. Chapter 3

September 13, 1944

The rumor was that we were headed for a jump soon, but none of us were sure because the last several times we'd been set to move out, our drop zone had been overrun by infantry and the jump had been cancelled. On one hand, we were grateful. On the other, we were restless.

It had been decided that we were all going out to a local pub that night, taking a little break from training to have some fun in case this next jump was the real thing. I came out of the shower in my PT gear, towel-drying my hair and headed for my foot locker to put on some clean clothes before we went out. The room was mostly deserted, the men having gone to shower in their facilities, which were separate from mine. Shifty, already freshly showered and dressed, was cleaning his rifle. Joe was on his bed, smoking a cigarette and staring at the ceiling. Talbert was flipping through a pin-up magazine.

"See anything that looks good to ya, Kokomo?" I teased, thumping the magazine as I walked by. "What's the matter? Didn't get a good enough look when you 'accidentally' stumbled into the showers earlier?"

"Oh, but I did. That's why I'm looking at this. Gotta get it off my mind, or I'll never look you in the eye again."

Joe was suddenly interested. "What the hell, Tab? You saw the princess naked? What were you thinking, walking in on her shower? That's no way to treat a lady."

"Oh, shut it, Lieb. You're just jealous that it wasn't you." Joe glared at him, but didn't dispute the statement.

"Well, I know one thing," came Shifty's quiet drawl. "It sure could be rough if my aim got off because I was concerned that someone might not be showing Kasia the proper respect." The others looked at him in shock. The fact that the sweet Shifty Powers had made a threat wasn't the unnerving part. It was the quiet calm with which he said it. He gave me a sideways glance and winked, chuckling as I kissed his cheek.

I turned and noticed for the first time that my bunk wasn't empty. There was a brown paper laundry package, wrapped in twine. I had already picked up my laundry from Mrs. Lamb, so I wasn't sure where it came from. I reached to pick it up and saw a bouquet of wildflowers, wrapped with medical tape, sitting on top. There was no note, and I glanced over at Shifty with a questioning look. He smiled and shrugged, and I could tell he knew something. My eyes flashed to Talbert as Joe grabbed his clothes and headed out the door to grab a quick shower. Tab shook his head and pointed toward Joe's retreating form. A glance and a nod from Shifty confirmed it, and I blushed all over.

I held the flowers to my nose and inhaled the fresh aroma. He'd clearly picked them while I was in the shower, and I placed them inside the mouth of my canteen to create a makeshift vase. Then I opened the package and my mouth fell open.

Shifty answered my question before I could ask it. "He bought it from Mrs. Lamb. She was selling some of her clothes to have some extra money. Said he saw it and knew it had to be yours. Gave her a week's worth of pay for it."

"It's beautiful," I breathed, and it really was. It was soft blue silk and lace, and made to take full advantage of a woman like me, who had always been… curvy. The bodice was snug, and the neckline gave just a tease of cleavage, while the skirt hugged my waist, flaring just below the hips. Mrs. Lamb had included a pair of stockings, and heels that matched the dress. I dressed behind the blankets the guys had hung up for me, and pulled a long-forgotten bag of cosmetics and a mirror from my footlocker. When I was finished, I looked and felt like a woman for the first time in months.

Shifty was alone when I reentered the room, waiting to walk me to the pub. His sweet smile, and the way he blushed as he looked me over, let me know that I looked presentable at least.

"I don't think Joe knows what he did. I may need to carry my rifle. Every unmarried man in the company is gonna be after you tonight. Some of the married ones too."

When we reached the bar, my eyes scanned the room for Joe. I found him near the dart board, leaning back in a chair, with a beer and a cigarette, watching Bill, George, and several others throw darts. Shifty gave me a wink and a nod, and I started in that direction.

I stepped up behind George and Bill, speaking into their ears as Buck Compton stuck a dart in the bullseye. "You boys aren't hustling the new guys, are you?"

"Now, Kasia, you know we wouldn't…" George turned and finally got a good look at me. "Wow."

He smacked Bill on the arm until he finally turned around. "What the hell is your problem, Luz?" Then, seeing what George was staring at, he looked me up and down, exclaiming, "Damn, Doll! What are you trying to do? Give the replacement boys a heart attack?"

I smiled and slid past him, walking toward Joe's seat. He was leaned forward now, elbows on his knees, looking down as he took a deep drag from his cigarette. I stopped over him, standing so that he was now looking down at the high heels he'd placed on my bed a couple of hours prior.

"Good evening, trooper."

He dropped his cigarette, stubbing it out with his boot. Then he lifted his gaze, travelling painfully slow, from my feet, up my stocking-covered legs, to my hips and my waist, across my breasts and finally to my eyes. His face held that cocky grin I'd come to love, but his eyes held something else entirely, and as he stared up at me, I found myself wishing that we were somewhere much more private.

George snapped me out of my daze when he cleared his throat beside me, suggesting that we go get me a beer, "before someone, *cough* Joe *cough*, pulls you into a darkened corner and takes advantage of you."

We threw darts, had a few beers, and laughed as Bill told the replacements some crazy story about Babe Heffron. Babe was a replacement too, but he and Bill had become fast friends when they realized they had grown up near each other in Philly. After Bill got up, a drunken Cobb started giving the replacements a hard time, only to be put in his place by Bull, who was always protective over his squad members. Overall, the night was relaxed. If it weren't for the uniforms, it would have been easy to forget that we were at war. Then Smokey Gordon introduced Lipton as the new Easy Company First Sergeant.

"Hate to break the mood here, boys, but we're moving out again." Apparently, we were to begin briefing the following morning for the next jump. The once festive atmosphere was now subdued. I stood, saying a silent prayer as I looked around at these men, many of whom had become dear friends, and realized that I might soon be called upon to treat them in the most grave of conditions.

A hand on the small of my back startled me back into awareness, and Joe's voice was close to my ear. "Come take a walk with me, Princess." I nodded and allowed him to steer me through the crowd and into the street. Once there, Joe nervously shoved his hands into his pockets, and we walked awhile in silence, passing the barracks and down a moonlit dirt path that led to a clearing overlooking a meadow full of wildflowers. There was a large rock at the crest of the bluff, and he sat down, motioning me to join him.

I smiled as I looked across the field, realizing that this must be where he had gotten the flowers he'd left on my bed. I bumped his shoulder with mine until he looked over, and said, "They were beautiful, Joe."

He smirked and looked away. "Nah. Roses are beautiful. Those were just some weeds in a field."

"Then why did I bother wasting my water and using my canteen as a vase so I could keep them beside my bed?"

"Really?" he asked, still looking down, playing nervously with an unlit cigarette in his hands.

"Joe, nobody has ever given me flowers before. Much less gone and picked them on their own."

"What about Shifty?"

"What about him? We're friends. Always have been, always will be. Just friends."

"And Tab?"

"Friend. He says that walking in on my shower today was an accident, but even if it wasn't, he's just sexually frustrated, like everybody else around here. I don't think he's had much luck in the fraternizing department so far."

"You're not pissed?"

"Why bother? I live with a company full of men. I fully expect that some of them will look. Comes with the territory. Looking and touching are two different things."

"Yeah, well, I think a lot of guys wanted to touch tonight."

I laughed and stood up, walking into the field of flowers and looking at the moon, "Well, Joe, that would be your fault. You picked the dress."

I heard him chuckle softly, but I didn't hear him stand up, so it startled me a bit when he walked up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I looked over my shoulder at him, and tried to hide a shiver as his hands slid down my arms to my hips, and then around my waist, pulling me against his chest.

"I'm not much of a romantic, but aside from this damn war, I'd have a hard time imagining a more perfect night," I murmured aloud. Joe's response came close to my ear.

"I can. On a perfect night, we'd have been in San Francisco. There would be no war. You'd have walked into that bar on my arm, and I'd have been the envy of every man in the room. We'd have had a drink, or maybe gone to dinner and a show. Gone for some ice cream and walked around, looking at the city lights. Maybe drive up and park at this cliff I love. It overlooks the Golden Gate Bridge, and at night it's really incredible. I wouldn't have spent the entire night wondering how your legs feel underneath those silk stockings, because they'd be mine to touch whenever I wanted. I wouldn't be thinking about how much I wish that dress, which matches your eyes perfectly, by the way, was going to end the night draped across a chair in my bedroom while I showed you exactly how fucking beautiful I think you are."

I had forgotten to breath somewhere around him talking about my legs being his to touch, and I looked up at him with hazy eyes. He was leaning toward me, wetting his lips with his tongue, and I reflexively closed my eyes. In the distance, we heard George and some of the others, laughing and talking loudly about jumping into Berlin, and reality crept back in to our little bubble.

"Damn it, Joe. Why the hell do we have to be in the middle of a war?" I demanded, pulling away from him and picking up a rock. "I'm never gonna go on a real date again. Never gonna get married or wake up in the morning, cuddled up in bed with the man I love. We're gonna jump into God knows where and get killed by some Nazi, and I'm never gonna see America again, much less San Francisco." I angrily threw the rock as far as I could across the field, watching it sail off into the moonlight.

I turned and looked at him, waiting for him to contradict me, but he didn't. He just motioned back toward the barracks with a sad look on his face, and mentioned that we should get some sleep before the briefings started the following morning. I walked quickly past him so that he wouldn't see that my eyes were wet, and he followed me back up the path.

As we entered the barracks, several of the guys noticed something was wrong, but I didn't speak. Instead, I changed out of the dress, carefully rewrapped it in the paper, and tucked it into my footlocker before crawling into my bed and turning my back to the room. I knew the guys were curious or concerned, especially Shifty, but I didn't think I'd be able to say anything without crying, so I remained silent.

It wasn't that I had fallen in love with Joe. I wasn't sure I was there yet. But I did like him a lot. He awakened something in me that I thought I had buried when my college sweetheart left me for another girl, and now that I actually wanted to feel that way again, I couldn't afford the luxury. Joe knew it too, which is why he didn't bother to contradict me. We were a world away from home, in the middle of a war, and about to jump behind enemy lines again. Affection… romance… love… those things would have to wait until we got back. If we got back.


	5. Chapter 4

September 17, 1944

We were standing in groups alongside our planes, preparing to jump into Zon, Holland on our way to liberate Eindhoven. Operation Market Garden, as it was named, was supposedly going to get our tanks over the Rhine and into Germany so that we could all be home by Christmas. Some were cautiously optimistic, while others, like me, were skeptical but determined. Either way, we had a job to do.

I had been quiet over the past few days, and the guys I was closest to were watching me carefully. Bull checked over my gear for me, making sure I was squared away, and assured me that everything was going to be fine before moving on to take care of the replacements. I noticed Shifty and Bill talking to Joe and, although I couldn't hear what was being said, from the way they kept glancing over at me, it wasn't hard to figure what they were talking about. I just hoped that they realized that Joe hadn't done anything wrong. The last thing I wanted was for them to assume that it had been Joe's fault I was upset. Fortunately, they didn't look mad, only concerned.

I saw a supply truck and a jeep pull up, and a face I'd hoped never to see again was looking back at me. Sobel stepped out of the jeep and walked around the side of the truck before approaching Don Malarkey to question him about a motorcycle that he and Alton Moore had taken for a joyride. After a moment of trying, and failing, to intimidate Don, he turned toward me.

"Kasia."

"Sir."

"I wish you the best of luck on your jump today. I'm sure that Easy will find that you are more than capable as a field nurse."

"Thank you, sir. I couldn't have done it without your training."

There was the momentary hint of a smile, and then he nodded curtly and strode back to his supply truck. Malarkey looked at me in shock, and I shrugged at him, unable to explain the unexpected exchange with my former CO. In any case, such a compliment from the impossible-to-please Captain Sobel steeled me for what lay ahead. It was then that I looked up and realized who Lipton had been helping from the jeep.

"Popeye!" I screamed, and he spun toward me, trying to locate the source. Shifty smiled and pointed at me, and I moved to him as quickly as I could in my gear.

I threw my arms around his neck, and heard him say, "Kasia? What the hell?" He didn't hesitate to hug me back though, and Shifty quickly explained the situation, and my position as Easy's new field nurse. Popeye chuckled, "Well, in that case, I'm glad you weren't there at Brecourt."

"Aww, come on Pop! Not like I haven't seen that ass before!" I joked.

"Yeah, yeah. So how many of these boys are in love with you? Besides Shifty and me, of course?" he winked. I saw Shifty wince, worried that I'd lose the new happiness I felt at Popeye's return, but I just smiled at him and shrugged.

"None that I know of, Popeye. Maybe they just don't have your good taste."

"Good. Besides, a pack of sex-starved soldiers in the middle of the war zone is hardly the place for a smart lady like you to be looking for a husband."

"Don't I know it, Popeye," I answered, with a hint of sadness in my voice as I met Joe's eyes. Shifty looked worried again, but I hugged him quickly and took my place as we prepared to board our planes.

The jump into Holland was a quiet one. We had the element of surprise on our side, and we hit the ground running, pulling off our chutes and helping those who were having trouble. Bull ran up alongside me to make sure I had all of my gear, and I quickly met up with Shifty and Popeye as we headed toward the woods.

Unfortunately, although our jump was a surprise, the combination of an easily visible daytime jump and a several hour walk to our first target, a bridge over the Wilhelmina Canal, gave the Germans plenty of time to prepare. We were all aware of this fact, and we moved forward cautiously. The bridge came into sight, and we slowed our movements even further. Everything seemed so quiet… too quiet.

Closing in on the bridge, I heard a rumble, and then the ground beneath my feet began to shake. For a brief moment, I thought it might be an earthquake. Then, the bridge exploded. I dove to the ground in a hail of burning timbers. I could feel the splinters raining down around me, and then I felt someone else's body covering mine. When the roaring finally stopped, we stood and I met the eyes of my guardian.

Joe.

He quickly checked me over for injuries, stopping to run his thumb across a small scratch on my cheek.

"Thank you."

He smiled, but said nothing as Winters announced that we would be delayed in crossing the bridge for at least a night. He ordered us all to settle in and, with the sun beginning to set, the guys began to make themselves as comfortable as possible. Doc and I went to each group, checking for injuries. Thankfully, we were finding a lot of scrapes, bruises, and splinters, but nothing serious.

I checked on Shifty and Popeye, and then noticed that Joe was stretched out nearby, propped up on his arm and smoking a cigarette. He had been watching me work on the others, so as I approached, he waved me off.

"Don't worry about me. Doc'll take care of me."

"Joe, sit up and let me see your back," I responded, walking around behind him. I could see that there were bloody spots on the back of his tank top, and knelt behind him.

"Kasia, I'm really okay," he told me, but he sat up anyway.

"Good. Then you won't mind if I check and make sure that you don't have anything getting infected."

Carefully, I lifted his shirt and got my first look at his battered back. He looked like he'd been whipped, and I felt myself tearing up as I looked over the splinters and scrapes. I took a deep breath and began gently running my fingers along his skin to remove the splinters and treat all of his cuts and abrasions.

I could feel him suck in a sharp breath beneath my hands, and I asked if he was okay, concerned about a possible broken rib. Quickly, I moved to crouch in front of him and ran my fingers up his sides to check for anything out of place along his ribs. It was then that I felt the goosebumps along his skin, and I looked up to see that familiar fire in his eyes.

We stared at each other for a moment, and I could feel the tears again as I whispered, "I'm sorry you're in pain because of me, Joe."

He leaned forward, changing direction at the last second to kiss away a tear that had escaped onto my cheek, and whispered, "Don't apologize. I was just trying to keep you safe. If I hadn't done it, somebody else would have. Now, go get some rest."

Bill motioned me over as I walked away, showing me a comfortable spot he had created, propped up against some of the fallen timbers. He laid out his blanket, pulling me against him, and draped my blanket across us. I put my head against his shoulder and looked up into the Holland sky, but my mind was still in that Aldbourne meadow.

"You doing okay, Doll?"

"Yeah, sweetie. I'll be okay. Just thinking."

"About Joe?"

"Among other things. I hope you and Shifty know that he didn't do anything wrong the other night."

"We know. He told us everything, and that he totally agreed with you. He said that he was going to do his best to keep some distance between you. And I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but you're both right. It's a terrible idea to start something up with a fellow trooper in the middle of a war. Too many things that could go wrong."

"I know, Bill," I sighed. "When I first joined, I had decided that I didn't care about any of that anymore. I didn't care about having someone to dress up for, or hold hands with, or dance close with. I didn't miss having butterflies in my stomach when someone looked at me, or wondering if there would be a good night kiss. It just didn't seem that important. But now that I may never get the chance again…"

"Don't say that, Kasia. You're gonna get a lot of chances. We're gonna win this war and go home, and you're gonna have guys chasing you all over. Including me. You're gonna be happy. Now get some sleep, okay?"

I kissed him on the cheek and cuddled into his chest, drifting into a dreamless sleep.


	6. Chapter 5

The next morning, we crossed the Wilhelmina Canal and proceeded carefully toward Eindhoven. Bull and his squad were in the lead, and stopped us when they spotted movement in one of the windows. I think the whole lot of us held our breaths as the window opened but, instead of bullets, a large orange flag came out. The Germans had fled, and we entered the city to a hero's welcome, although the crowds in the streets made us a bit leery of snipers who still might be lurking.

The people were jubilant, dancing and singing in the street, hugging and kissing anyone in a uniform, and offering us gifts and food. The officers tried to keep everyone moving, which was quite a feat. Between the crowds and the women throwing themselves into their arms, the boys had plenty to be distracted by. I wound my way through the streets and, in the midst of all of the joy, found myself staring at an angry mob. They were jeering and publicly shaming the women who, according to a passerby, had slept with the Germans. It broke my heart. Bull came up behind me, quickly pulling me away.

"Don't watch that, sweetheart. It'll only upset you, and we see enough in this war. Let's keep moving."

I tried my best to keep up, but his size made wading through the crowd much easier for him and I quickly fell behind. It was claustrophobic, and I tried to ignore the bodies that were pushing me from all sides. The men seemed extremely interested in the American woman in a uniform, and some were trying to take the same liberties with me that the women were taking with the other soldiers. I could feel the bruises beginning to form from the rough hands yanking at my arms, breasts and butt as I fought my way through the pressing crowd. I began calling out for Bill or Shifty or Bull, trying to get some help as I fought my way forward, but it was difficult to hear anything unless you were standing right next to someone.

The tight grip of a large hand on my wrist startled me, and I saw a leering man who had been following me for the last few minutes with hungry eyes. He was clearly drunk, and had been a part of the group who were shaming the women. I could feel him trying to pull me toward an alleyway, and I looked around desperately, finally spotting what I thought was Joe's head just through the crowd. I started to scream his name, but it died in my throat when a group moved out of the way and I saw Joe's hand on the waist of a Dutch girl who had her lips firmly pressed to his.

I found my voice again when the man wrapped his arm around my waist, lifting me off the ground and carrying me toward the alley, and began crying for help as he tried to clamp a hand over my mouth. I saw Joe's head snap up immediately, but Bull had already seen me from the lamppost he was standing on, and was fighting his way back through the crowd. The man dropped me as he saw Bull approaching, and moved to square off, but Bull took only one punch to lay him flat. Then he lifted me carefully, wrapping my arms and legs around him and moving back toward the others.

He kept apologizing, saying, "I'm so sorry. I should have held your hand or carried you or something. This is all my fault. I'm taking you to Doc. You're uniform looks torn up, and your lip is bleeding pretty good. You're gonna be okay, sweetheart. I've got you now." I nodded and let the tears fall, laying my head on his shoulder as Joe caught up with us, his Dutch girl still trailing behind him.

"Kasia! Oh my God! Are you okay? You're bleeding! And what the hell happened to your uniform?"

"I'm fine, Joe. You can go back to what you were doing now," I mumbled robotically, making a vague motion toward where he had been standing.

"Kasia? What are you…," He looked down at the girl tugging on his sleeve and batting her eyelashes at him, and realization washed over him as he reached up and touched his lips, seeing the red lipstick on his fingers. "Oh, no! Shit, I didn't…"

Bull interrupted, "Joe, I've gotta get her to Doc. Her uniform is pretty messed up, and I have no idea what all happened when she got separated. She needs to get checked out." Joe nodded numbly, and shook off his attachment as he followed us through the crowd, finally reaching Captain Winters.

"Roe! Get over here!" Winters pointed him toward me, and he quickly ushered Bull into the building where they had set up a temporary headquarters, sitting me on a table. Joe followed him in, with Shifty, Bill, and Popeye close behind and peppering them both with questions. They went silent when Doc turned on a lamp, looking over my bruised wrist.

His gentle touch and concerned eyes brought the whole story pouring out of me in gasping sobs. Getting separated from Bull. The unwanted kisses and touches. The grabbing and pulling in all different directions. The man who had tried to carry me away.

"…and he was following me, and he grabbed and started pulling me. I thought I saw Joe, but he was busy kis…" I caught myself, and I saw Joe ducking his head as Bill shot him a glare. "He couldn't hear me, and then the guy picked me up and started carrying me off. He dropped me when he saw Bull…" I stopped to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry, chéri, but you're gonna have to take off your top. I have to look." I nodded and unbuttoned my blouse, wincing as he helped me out of it and pulled off my undershirt so that I was only in my bra. Shifty and Popeye cringed. Bull and Bill turned their heads. Joe cursed.

"It's not that bad, Doc. I'll be okay."

"No, chéri. I need to put something on some of these scratches and clean up your lip. I think your wrist is just sprained, but I need to wrap it up anyway. Do you need anything for pain?"

I shook my head, and he helped me to put my undershirt back on and began cleaning my lip. Assured that I was in good hands, the other guys shuffled out to see if there was anything they needed to be doing. Joe was the last to turn away. I saw him through the window as he stepped outside, ignoring Bill's questions and running a hand over his face and through his hair, the way he always did when he was truly upset about something.

I didn't see him again until the following morning, as we were preparing to move out toward Nuenen. Doc had taken the time to clean me up because my lip had begun to bleed again overnight, and by the time we got ready to load up, the only spot left in the truck was directly across from Joe. I was grateful to find that at least Shifty was riding next to me. As I climbed up, he pulled me close, tilting my chin up so that he could examine my lip.

"It started bleeding again last night. I was a mess this morning," I said, motioning to reddish-brown stain on the collar of my exposed undershirt. "Doc had to clean it up again."

"How's the rest of you?"

"Sore. My wrist is hurting, but Doc wrapped it up pretty well, so I'll be okay."

"No, angel. I mean the rest of you. Doc told me and Popeye that you had a nightmare last night."

"Oh. That. It was nothing. I expected to have at least one."

"You tell one of us if they keep up. We're here. Nothing like that is ever going to happen to you again, but we are always here for you to talk to," he told me, earnestly. I leaned into his shoulder and he laced our fingers together, kissing my injured wrist. "You just stay close, okay? If something happened to you out here… You know, me and Popeye, we love you."

"I love you too."

I raised my eyes to find Joe was staring at me. He mouthed, "I need to talk to you." I shook my head slightly, turning into Shifty's chest, and he kicked my foot lightly to get my attention. "Please," he begged silently.

The truck lurched to a stop, and we heard Bull yelling at Lt. Brewer from his position atop the lead tank. There was a single gunshot, and then all hell broke loose. German Tiger tanks… snipers… missile-grenades… We were diving in all directions, desperately seeking cover. I looked up out of the ditch I was in to see that Lt. Brewer was badly hit, and Mampre, the first medic to reach him, had taken a bullet to the leg. Roe was kneeling over them, trying to treat them both, and I scrambled up the bank to help him as best I could. Together, we were able to drag both men to cover.

I saw one of the replacements, Pvt. Miller, take a mortar hit. Just a week before, he'd been in the pub in Aldbourne, with Cobb giving him a hard time for not having seen combat in Normandy. I could see how he fell from where I was standing. He was gone. Then Hoobler was running toward me as a wall exploded behind him, right where Cobb had still been crouched and firing at the enemy.

"Roy!" I screamed, running past Hoob and into the dust storm. I reached him as the smoke cleared, still crouched next to the wall that now had a large chunk missing right next to him. He appeared uninjured, but in shock, and I started dragging him until he finally jumped to his feet and began running with me.

Slowing to see if there were any others injured, I turned just in time to see our tank get hit. There was an explosion, and then I felt myself flying through the air.


	7. Chapter 6

**Joe's POV**

From my position, I could see the tank explode, throwing several people through the air. There was an order to fall back, and we all began running for the trucks. Lt. Compton had taken a bullet in the ass, and I could see Skip, Malarkey and Bill dragging him to safety using a barn door. I was looking around for familiar faces as I ran, and trying to take a mental inventory to determine if we'd lost anyone. I realized Bill was screaming at me as he continued hauling Buck.

"Joe! Where is Kasia?"

"She was with Roe at the trucks! She helped drag Brewer back!"

Then I heard Malarkey beside him, saying, "No, she's not. She ran back in. I saw her go to get Cobb."

By now, I was out of the ditch beside him. "Where is she, Don?"

"I don't know. The last time I saw her, she was running by the tank before it…"

He didn't get the chance to finish. I turned toward the burning tank, and just to the side of the road I could see a helmet lying beside a trooper with hair too long to be anyone but her. She was face-down. I took off at a sprint, and did a baseball slide as I came up beside her. She was too still. I couldn't tell right away if she was breathing. There was blood around her face, but I didn't know whether she'd been hit or if the cut on her lip had just opened again.

"No, Kasia. No, no no. Please," I could feel myself choking up on the words, and I touched her cheek.

A groan. A cough. Then a sharp gasp for breath.

"Joe?" Another cough and she moved to turn over. She was alive.

"Careful. Careful. Does anything feel broken? Are you hit bad anywhere?"

"No. No, I don't think so. I think I just got the wind knocked out of me. Probably a concussion."

"Okay, let me help you. We're pulling back. We've got to move."

I didn't wait for her to protest. I scooped her up into my arms and ran. In the time it took me to get to the trucks, she'd passed out again. Bill &amp; John Martin helped pull us up into the truck, and I sat down with her in my lap as the trucks pulled away to get to safety.

"Kasia! Kasia, you need to wake up. You need to stay awake if you have a concussion." I was patting her cheek, and she finally opened her eyes to look at me, but it was clear that she was out of it. Without thinking, I kissed her softly. "Stay awake, baby. We're almost there. Doc needs to make sure you're okay."

We were retreating. I didn't know how many we had lost, but John said that he didn't know where Bull was. I hoped Kasia wasn't aware enough to hear that. Determined and protective as she is, she'd have probably jumped off the truck to go searching for him.

When we finally got back far enough that we were safe, we stopped to assess our status and Doc came over to check on her.

"Joe, you're gonna have to let her go." That was not what I wanted to hear, so I pretended that I didn't and Doc finally gave me a hard look. "Joe, I can't make sure she's alright if you don't put her down. If you want, you can hold her hand."

I sighed and followed his instructions, putting her down as gently as I could. She yelped in pain anyway, and the sound traveled straight up my spine and took a detour through my heart. I watched as Doc examined her carefully, noting her glassy blue eyes and her obvious dizziness. She leaned over to the side of the truck and threw up, cringing as she rinsed her mouth out with water from her canteen. I watched as he gently cleaned the blood from her soft, pink lips and checked to see if she needed stitches. I swore under my breath, as I had done the day before, when Doc raised her shirt to see the newly-forming bruises around her ribs.

"She's gonna have to go to the hospital, Joe. She's got a bad concussion, and these bruises mean she has some broken ribs. She needs rest and treatment that I can't give her out here."

She spoke before I could. "NO! I'll be fine! I don't need to go to the hospital! I want to stay with men! See, look. I can get up. OWWW!" She screamed and clutched her side. I could see her eyes getting teary. Perconte chose that moment to walk by and mention that Bull was still missing, and she looked at him, panic-stricken, and burst into tears. "Please don't make me go, Gene! We have to find Bull!"

"Chéri, we will find him. But you can't be of any help if you can't move. You gotta let your body heal. It's gonna be okay. I promise we'll keep you updated. You've gotta go to the hospital. They'll evacuate you from here in the morning. Maybe by then, Bull will be back."

She was still crying, but seemed resigned that he was right and allowed him to help her lay back down, although she refused to take any morphine so that she would be alert in case there was news about Bull. She might just be the toughest woman I've ever met in my life. It didn't escape my attention, though, that she had yet to acknowledge my presence. She didn't pull her hand away as we pulled further back to find shelter for the night, but she wasn't holding my hand back, and she definitely wasn't looking or speaking to me. She was staring off into space until the truck stopped. I wanted to comfort her, but I knew I was the last person she wanted comfort from so, as Roe helped her into some ramshackle building to lay down, I did the only thing I could think of. I went to find Shifty and Popeye.

I found Popeye first and led him to her, yelling to Shifty, who was further away. As soon as Pop walked in the door, she wailed at him.

"Doc is making me go to the hospital! What if I don't get to come back? What if something happens to you guys?" He just smiled at her.

"Darlin', you'll come back. Look at me. I found a way. You will too. But you can't protect us if you're not healthy. Look at your ribs! You look like somebody was beatin' on ya."

She glared at him and stuck out her tongue, but there was a hint of a smile and my heart leapt. I saw Shifty walk in and she gave him a sad smile. He returned it, walking straight over to her and running his fingers along her bruised ribs. It had to have hurt, but she never flinched when he touched her and that made my stomach twist for some reason. Then his hand cupped her cheek as he leaned down to kiss her forehead, pulling her close to him and laying her head on his chest.

"Sweetheart, you can't be stubborn right now. I know you don't want to go, but you have to. I need you to be okay. We all do."

There. Shifty had just said everything I had wanted to say. Only she was listening to him. He was holding her. I suddenly felt like I was intruding on a pair of lovers.

Lovers. The thought made me want to punch something.

I slipped quietly out of the room and leaned against the building as the sunlight faded, pulling out a cigarette. I watched as the others moved around. I saw Bill talk to Hoob, and then Hoob set off with a small squad to look for Bull. Kasia would be happy about that. Bill and George stopped by to check on her, along with a few others.

I lost track of time, and before I knew it, I had smoked an entire pack just leaning against that wall. I could see the sun coming up. She'd be gone soon. There was a jeep coming to get her. My stomach twisted again, and I started on a new pack of cigarettes. I really should stop smoking. Maybe after the war.

The boys were coming through to say goodbye to her before she left. I stayed outside. Then a jeep pulled up, and I heard John Martin yell. Climbing out of the back of the jeep was Hoob and his squad, and in the front was a worn, but very much alive Sgt. Bull Randleman. I smiled. At least she'd have that to be happy about.

I stuck my head in the door, and Doc looked up at me. "Jeep is here." She rolled her eyes and sighed, but I added, "You'll be happier about it than you think." Doc helped her up, walking with her as she moved slowly toward the door. As she stepped outside, she looked up at me for the first time in two days. I smiled and pointed.

Her hand came up to cover her mouth when she made eye contact with him across the field. He made his way toward us, his long strides covering the space quickly, and moved to hug her before stopping short at the sight of her bandaged ribs.

"What happened to you, Blue?" his nickname referencing her eyes, his face awash with concern.

"Um, I sort of got thrown by an exploding tank."

"Must've been the same hit that got my shoulder. What were you doing so close? I thought I left you with Doc to take care of Brewer?"

Doc picked up as Kasia looked sheepishly at the ground. "Well, chéri here ran back into the kill zone to grab Cobb and help some other wounded. She was running right by and got thrown. Concussion and probably some broken ribs. Joe found her face-down beside the road and carried her out. She's going with the jeep to the hospital."

She looked over at me, but I looked away. If I never saw the picture of her body lying on the ground in my head again, it would be too soon. No wonder I couldn't sleep the night before. Every time I closed my eyes, there it was.

"Baby Blue, you go and get better. Don't do anything stupid, like trying to get back here before you're healed."

"Yes, sir. Please, do me a favor? Make sure Cobb knows I'm okay. I know he felt really bad last night about me running back in after him." This woman was amazing. She was really worried about Cobb, who was perfectly fine thanks to her? Bull smiled at her and nodded. She kissed his wounded shoulder, and then his cheek and he placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Come on," Doc ordered, motioning her toward the waiting jeep. "Let's get you out of here."

She glanced up at me, and I wasn't sure if she wanted to say something or if she was waiting for me to. She looked ready to cry again. I thought of a million things that I wanted to say to her in that moment, but none of them would come out. Instead, I kicked at the ground with the toe of my boot, and stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"Take care of yourself, Kasia."

The crestfallen look on her face ripped my chest open, and she quietly replied, "Yeah. You too, Joe." She climbed into the jeep that would carry her back to England and out of my life.

I'm such a coward sometimes.


	8. Chapter 7

After everything. After knowing that we may never see each other again. All he can come up with is "take care of yourself." I didn't know whether to be angry or hurt. He had looked like there were things he wanted to say. I would've listened, if he had given me the chance. The worst part of it all was that we had parted on bad terms.

I spent hours pondering every detail of the months I had spent with Joe. I stared at that hospital ceiling like it was a projector screen, replaying our entire friendship. I'd been writing off these feelings as simple physical attraction, or maybe just curiosity, for months now, but I could no longer deny the truth. I was crazy about Joe. I really was. Was it love? I didn't know yet, but I had to admit that it had the potential to be.

I had no idea how he felt, but I hadn't missed the look on his face when Gene mentioned him finding me after the tank explosion. I would've sworn that he had called me "baby" and kissed me at some point, but I was pretty fuzzy then, and I couldn't be sure of what was real. Was I just imagining all of those moments between us? All of that unspoken energy that seemed to buzz around us whenever we were together?

Regardless, it didn't take me long to get restless. I wanted to get back to Easy, and I wanted to make things right with Joe, all feelings of attraction aside. I couldn't bear it if something happened and he didn't know that I cared about him. If he wanted the Dutch woman, so be it. But at least we would be friends again.

As my ribs healed, I pestered the nurses until they put me to work, thankful for some extra help. A month after I arrived, I was helping a wounded soldier with a blanket and pillow when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Doll! Aren't you supposed to be resting while you're in this hospital?"

"Bill! What the hell did you do?" I rushed to his bedside. He was in a leg cast. Even so, he was flashing me that beautiful smile that I loved.

"Oh, that? Well, you see, there was a motorcycle and a sniper, and between getting shot and thrown from the bike, my leg got broken. I'll be fine." I shook my head at him and shot him a dirty look, but it didn't last long. He winked at me, asking, "So, are your ribs well enough for a hug?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and planted a big kiss on his cheek. We spent the rest of the day catching up on the news from Easy. Apparently, Captain Winters had been promoted and "Moose" Heyliger had been put in command of Easy. Moose was a good man, and the general consensus was that he would do a fine job. The boys had been doing a lot of fighting in an area we called "The Island," and Operation Market Garden had proven to be a spectacular failure, with the British alone losing 8,000 men when Arnhem fell. In fact, Moose's first mission as commanding officer had been to rescue some of the British who'd been trapped behind the line.

"Joe was wounded," Bill told me, watching my face carefully. "Nothing serious. He got hit in the neck by shrapnel from the grenade that got Alley. Alley is gonna be fine. Joe barely even blinked. Brought Alley back, and then went back out on a mission with Winters. That's when Winters got promoted because Major Horton was killed."

"Is he okay, Bill?"

"Who, Joe?" I nodded, and he sighed. "I don't know, Kasia. I mean, physically he's fine. The neck wound will be fine. Mentally. Emotionally. He's changed. He's angry. The sarcastic, pissed off Joe is there all the time now. He hardly sleeps. And he won't talk about it. Although he did tell me once that he kept picturing the way he found you that day when he closed his eyes."

"Dammit, Bill. I've gotta get out of here."

"I know, Doll. We will."

Another month and a half passed, and Bill's leg was healing. My bruises had faded, and my ribs had healed. I had a small scar on my lip, but other than that, I was feeling healthy and strong again. Moose was in the hospital now. He had been accidentally shot by a sentry, and then given an overdose of morphine by Welsh and Winters. He was healing, but he had a long way to go. Bill and I were restless. I came to Bill's bed one evening in early December to find him coloring his cast black with shoe polish.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm busting out of here. I can't stand it anymore. Moose gave me a letter for Captain Winters, and I heard that the boys are in Mourmelon for a break. I'm going AWOL tonight. Don't try to talk me out of it."

"I'm not. I'm going with you."

It didn't take us long to get busted by an officer. Bill was clearly hobbling still, even though he had ripped his cast off as soon as we were out. He was going to have Bill busted to private, which pissed me off. A week later, after much arguing, I arranged for us to meet with the officer. Bill and I explained why we had gone AWOL, and told him that we wouldn't hesitate to do so again if it meant that we could get back to our company. He looked at us long and hard. Finally, he signed the release paperwork and arranged for transportation back to Mourmelon. We later learned that he had also "mislaid" the paperwork for Bill's demotion, so it never happened. We were on our way home to our boys.

I spent the entire trip thinking about what I was going to say or do when I saw Joe, and it surprised me when the jeep stopped and the driver announced we were there. Bill and I walked into an office and found Captain Winters behind a desk, with Captain Nixon and Lieutenant Welsh nearby. Bill gave them Moose's letter, and asked if they knew where a place called LuLu's was. I rolled my eyes.

Captain Winters mentioned that he was to avoid joyriding from now on, and turned to me. "Kasia, it's good to have you back. I know Doc has missed your help. I'm sure he's not the only one. Be careful out there, okay?"

"Yes, sir," I answered, and then to Bill as we left the office, "LuLu's? Really? I'm not treating you if you catch something!"

He laughed heartily, throwing an arm around me. "Well, doll, you know if you wanna volunteer instead, I'm always open to it." I elbowed him in the ribs and we headed over to the building where Easy was being quartered. It was nearly empty when we stepped inside, with most of the men having gone to get showers after a day of drilling with the CO, Lieutenant Norman Dike, who had replaced Moose. We were not hearing good things about him. In fact, the men were apparently calling him "Foxhole Norman" because he was always disappearing without explanation, or as far from the action as possible.

Shifty was sitting on his bed and cleaning his rifle, as usual. Bill stood in front of me, blocking me from sight, and cleared his throat.

"Bill! Hey, welcome back! You go AWOL?"

"Of course I did. You know me. How are things?"

"Good. Good. Not sure about Lt. Dike, but I'm sure things will be fine. Did you see Kasia? How is she?"

"As a matter of fact, she was terrible. Sick and tired of being in the damned hospital. Hope you don't mind, but I brought her back with me," he answered, moving out of the way. Shifty's smile lit up the room, and he immediately got up and wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm so happy to see you, sweetheart! I've missed you so much. You really look good."

I felt another hug behind me, and turned to see Popeye's grin. They told us that everyone was headed over to watch the movie that was showing, so we headed over to surprise everyone. The room was dark, and a projector was playing a John Wayne film, but I could see the outline of many faces I adored. It felt good to be back. Bill sat down next to Joe Toye, who waved and smiled at me. I waved back and moved to take a seat between Bull and Doc.

"You boys don't mind if I sit here, do ya?" Two startled sets of eyes turned to me. Bull bear-hugged me, planting a kiss on my cheek and whispering a welcome back. I looked over at Doc, who took my hand and kissed it.

"Chéri."

"I've missed you, Gene," I mouthed. He smiled and kissed my hand again, mouthing back, "Me too."

I spent the rest of the movie scanning the room, occasionally catching the eye of one of the boys and sending a wave and a smile. When the movie was over and the lights came on, I stood up to stretch. Bull and Gene were able to give me a proper hug, as were several of the other guys, before we headed back to barracks. We headed outside into the night air, with the group laughing as I told the story of Bill putting shoe polish on his cast.


	9. Chapter 8

**First, let me thank the AMAZING people who have read, followed, favorited &amp; reviewed this story so far. **

**I'm posting another chapter tonight for a faithful reviewer who I know I've been torturing with this story... you know who you are, BobtheFrog! :) Stay patient. I promise to do everything in my power to make this worth it.**

* * *

****Joe's POV****

I had been toward the front of our makeshift theater, so I was one of the last outside. I could see a group of the guys crowding around someone and laughing. Then, I saw Bill, still limping, and realized he must have gone AWOL from the hospital. He saw me out of the corner of his eye, and turned to me with a smile. He took a step to the side and, for the first time in three months, I was looking at her. He winked at me, and I heard him say something to her about forgetting something inside. She, of course, offered to go get it, since he was still hurting. Bless that man. I slipped back inside the building before she could turn around.

She stepped back through the door of the deserted room, almost running head first into me. Not realizing who it was, she looked up to apologize, stopping when she saw that it was me. She muttered an apology and went to move around me, but I caught her around the waist and pulled her into me, hugging her tightly.

I got no reaction from her at first, and I was concerned that time had done little to lessen her anger. Then, slowly, she wrapped her arms around my neck. Locking my arms around her waist, I could feel the tension in her body releasing, and it felt like she melted into me. I decided, right then and there, that I wanted to feel that feeling every day for the rest of my life.

Those blue eyes looked up at me, and I could feel her fingertips at the base of my neck. I wondered if she could feel my heart thudding against my chest.

"I'm sorry, Joe. I felt terrible for leaving things the way I did. What happened in Eindhoven wasn't your fault, and it wouldn't have mattered what you were doing. It wouldn't have changed what he did. I shouldn't have gotten upset with you. You're an attractive, single man. You should be able to kiss anyone you want and..."

_Was she serious? She was apologizing? I have no idea what took over in me, but I never let her finish that sentence. Before I realized what I was doing, my hand was on her cheek, thumb running across her lips. Then, my mouth was on hers._

_I pulled away slightly, waiting for a reaction. She surprised me by tugging the collar of my uniform until I met her lips again. My fingers were in her hair, and I pulled slightly, causing her to moan lightly against my lips. Taking full advantage of the moment, I swept my tongue against hers. When she returned the gesture, I felt as though someone had set me on fire. I was no longer in control of my body._

_I felt myself lift her up and carry her to a couch that was on the side of the room, and I sat down with her straddling my lap. My hands slid underneath the back of her shirt, running my fingers along her skin and feeling the goosebumps. I kissed down her neck, finding the soft spot just above her collar bone that I had so often kissed and touched in my dreams._

_Working my way back up to her ear, I whispered, "God, I've missed you, baby."_

_She looked a little surprised at the confession, but then she smiled and pulled me back into searing kiss, my trousers now painfully strained as her hips pressed against mine._

"Joe? Hey, you okay?" She looked concerned, and I suddenly realized that I had completely lost myself in her eyes while she was talking. Was I really just daydreaming about kissing her? Maybe more? I mentally scolded myself. I knew this wasn't the time. Besides, everyone knew that she was going to end up with Shifty after the war. He was a good man, and he treated her like she was the most precious thing on Earth. She could insist that they were just friends if she wanted, but she deserved a guy like him… and he deserved a girl like her. I snapped back to her concerned face.

"Yeah! Yeah, of course. I'm sorry. I'm fine."

"Okay," she said, still looking unsure. "Well, like I said, I just wanted to apologize for how I left things. You probably saved my life in Nuenen, and I don't think I even said 'thank you' for that."

"Oh, that. I don't even want to think about that. There was no way I'd have left you there, and if I hadn't grabbed you, there are plenty of guys who would have. You mean a lot to us around here."

She smiled for moment, then frowned and reached up to touch the scar on my neck. Her fingertips left a hot trail on my skin, and I concentrated on her eyes as they examined the healed wound.

"Bill said you got hit, but he said it wasn't that bad."

"It wasn't. Alley was a lot worse off than I was."

"Joe, where you were hit… it couldn't have missed that vein by much. You could've bled out…" She looked genuinely frightened, as if I was still bleeding in front of her, and she kept running her fingers over the mark. I caught her hand and held it against my lips.

"But it did miss. I'm fine." She looked at me and sighed, then stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against the pulse point of my neck, just over the scar. Stepping back, she looked up at me for a second, both of us a bit shocked at her action. Finally, she spoke, her voice just above a whisper.

"Just don't ever do that again, okay?" I nodded dumbly, and she quickly added, "I've gotta get this coat back to Bill. I'll see you later."

She rushed out of the room, and I sat down hard in one of the chairs. A terrifying realization washed over me.

I'm in love with her. What the hell am I going to do now?


	10. Chapter 9

**December 16, 1944**

I had been back with Easy for six days. The same movie was showing, and I was only half-listening from the very back of the room, as I studied the faces of the men I'd missed so much while I was at the hospital. I loved them all deeply. These were my boys.

"I've seen this movie thirteen times, okay."

"Well, I haven't so shut up!"

Luz was annoying Toye and Lipton with John Wayne impersonations again. I swear, if someone had offered him 50 bucks to keep quiet for ten minutes, he'd have either lost or exploded. That was George. You either wanted to hug him or strangle him. There was never an in between. I usually fell more toward the hugging side, mostly because he always knew when I needed to laugh, and he knew how to get one out of me.

Bill was quiet, staring intently at the movie, but smirking at George. I could see the light from the projector glinting off of his blue eyes, and I couldn't help but smile. He was my rock. My knight in shining armor. He made it clear that he'd walk through fire to protect me, and I felt safe beside him. Bill Guarnere was sitting here in some cramped make-shift theater in the middle of Europe, watching the Duke woo yet another leading lady, but the truth was that Bill was a John Wayne character brought to life. He had the swagger and confidence. He might've had the Philly accent instead of a southern drawl, but he was one of the toughest men I'd ever met in my life, and he had a heart of gold.

Joe Toye was stoic, but the truth was that he would do anything for any one of us. He always softened up when the two of us were alone, and he'd often tell me about the things that troubled him. He worried sometimes that he might be looked down upon because he had left school as a young man to work in mines and support his family. He had nothing to worry about. I didn't know a single person in the company who did not have the upmost respect for him.

Denver Randleman, despite the size-inspired nickname of Bull, could have just as easily been called Bear. When provoked, he was fierce like a grizzly. When subdued, he had the warmth and security of my favorite teddy. The man was absolutely born to be a soldier. He radiated dependability and strength, and if there was ever a man you wanted leading your youngest and most green soldiers, it was Bull.

Carwood Lipton was the embodiment of understated wisdom and kindness. He just seemed to understand what people needed to hear, and was the poster-boy for what it means to lead by example. Sometimes I worried that he spent so much time looking out for others, he didn't always give himself the care he deserved, but that was Lip.

Doc was a mystery in so many ways. He was that movement that you catch out of the corner of your eye, but when you turn, there is nothing there. His grandmother had been a healer, or what the Cajuns call traiteurs, and I truly believed that if anyone would be capable of such a thing as faith-healing, it would be Eugene Roe. There was this other-worldly quality about him. He had a way of looking at me that made me feel like he could see into my soul. We shared a special bond that comes from having to be the calm and collected one while treating the atrocities of war, and we often seemed to communicate our thoughts without speaking.

Don Malarkey was my ray of sunshine. If Luz could make me laugh with his sarcasm or crazy impersonations, Don could make me smile just by smiling at me. When he was in a good mood, which he usually was, he radiated this contagious enthusiasm. For instance, at the moment, he was sitting next to Muck and Perconte, gushing about his evening's gambling winnings, and how he planned to blow it all in Paris as soon as possible. He was the guy that everyone wanted to be around, because you knew you'd have a good time.

Popeye Wynn was everything you could ask for in a soldier and a friend. Buck Compton told me that when Popeye had been hit at Brecourt, instead of yelling for help or a medic, he started apologizing for messing up and letting everyone down. That was the man I knew and loved. He was selfless.

Then there was Joe. After the night I got back, when I ran into him just a few feet from where I was now sitting, he had not spoken to me at all. Joe confused me more than anyone or anything had ever confused me. With everyone else, he was basically the same guy all the time. He was a hot-tempered wiseass, but a hell of a soldier, and his angry outbursts were fairly easy to predict if you knew him at all. With me though, he ran hot and cold so quickly that it was hard to keep up.

There had never been any doubt about the tension between us, but I had yet to figure out what it was. Was it just some physical attraction, like a curiosity that we needed to satisfy? Joe didn't really strike me as being ready to settle down, so it wouldn't have been terribly surprising. But there were moments. Just hints, really. Hints, though, of something else entirely. They were there sometimes in England, when I'd look over and catch him watching me. Or when he had surprised me with the flowers and the dress. They were there when he'd seen me upset in Eindhoven, and definitely after I'd been injured in Nuenen. Even the other night, when we were standing here alone, there was some sort of buzz around us that wasn't completely sexual in nature. And then, as quickly as it would appear, it would be gone again and he would ignore me, like he had been for the last six days.

Honestly, Joe, more than anyone else, brought out the best in me. He challenged me, and I reveled in it. He didn't accept the flaws that he knew I could improve upon, or go along with my assumption that I always had everything under control. He would listen if I really needed it, and tell me to stop whining when I was being self-indulgent. He didn't agree with everything I said, and we'd had passionate, and sometimes loud, arguments over everything from baseball to life and death. My insides did a satisfied little dance every time he seemed impressed or proud of me. He made me want to be stronger, smarter, and better. Some days I thought he might share that. Others, like now, not so much.

Joe was a flame, dancing and licking at the edge of my consciousness. I just wasn't sure whether I was an oak or a pool of gasoline, because he never got close enough for me to find out. Maybe that was for the best. After all, if I were an oak, that flame could ignite a long, slow, warm fire, but if I were a pool of gasoline, there would be a flash and intense heat for a while, but I would quickly be consumed, leaving the fire to find another source of fuel. Sitting there, looking at the back of his head, I decided that some things were just better left unmixed.

* * *

I leaned my head back and felt Shifty's arm draped across the back of my chair. He looked down at me and smiled, pulling me into him. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and I felt completely at home. It was no secret that most of the men in the company saw Shifty and I married after the war was over. We generally ignored it. That subject had just never come up between us, which was both surprising and not. Surprising because of how long we had known each other, and how close we were. Not surprising because Shifty could be painfully shy about things like that, and he was the type that would definitely be concerned about ruining a friendship.

He had a girl that he'd been writing back home, although most of the other guys didn't know that. It wasn't serious yet, but it had potential. She didn't begrudge our friendship, which was a start. The only girl he'd been serious with since we'd met had been overwhelmingly jealous, and wanted Shifty to choose between us. I had felt absolutely horrible, but he hadn't even blinked as she stormed out the door. Giving up our friendship wasn't even an option for him. Anyone who loved him would have to accept me as a part of his life, and I felt exactly the same way, which is probably why the college boyfriend hooked up with another girl. It didn't matter. I'd take Shifty over a jealous boyfriend any day.

He was loyal, caring, and respectful. Strong but gentle. Proud but humble. Handsome, but in a soft, boyish way. When he settled down, his family would be at the center of his universe. He was everything a woman could want in a husband. Any woman would be lucky to have a man like Darrell Powers. I looked up, seeing him in a different light for the first time.

He felt my gaze and looked down, giving me another soft smile and rubbing my shoulder. Had his eyes always sparkled like that when he smiled at me? Was I imagining the way he just glanced down to my lips? Did everyone else know something that I didn't?

I sat up slightly, still looking up at him, and suddenly aware of how close we were. He reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and his fingers lingered for a second. I felt the back of his hand along my cheek, and then his thumb run along my jawline to my chin. He swallowed hard, and his face grew serious, his eyes nervously searching mine. He was unsure about something.

"Sweetie, what is…?" His lips were on mine before I finished the sentence. The kiss was soft and hesitant, but not unpleasant. It had lasted just seconds, but I found myself wondering if there were more to be explored there. We were leaning in again for what promised to be a deeper kiss, but were interrupted as the lights came on and we learned that we were needed on the front again. Apparently, other infantry units were being overrun by the Germans in some God-forsaken forest in Belgium. We were moving out in a hurry, on our way to hold the line.

The room emptied quickly, and we prepared our limited gear. I could hear the other guys around the trashcan fires grumbling. We were all low on ammunition and had no winter clothing, and we were being sent out into the Ardennes Forest in the dead of winter. No one was thrilled. We had loaded the trucks, and we were standing around, trying to keep warm as we waited on "Foxhole Norman" to finish his base-wide canvas for K-rations and other supplies. The conversation turned to the rumors of complete decimation of our side by the Germans in that area, and whether any of us would be making it out of this one alive. It wasn't exactly cheerful.

I felt a tug on my hand, and saw Shifty motioning me to follow him. I tried to ask where or why, but he just pulled my hand until I followed, shutting the door behind me as I entered a small, now-empty, supply shed. Confused, I turned to face him and found my back pressed against the wall.

"Darrell?"

"I'm sorry. I know this is really out of character for me, but if we're really going into what they say we're going into, I don't wanna risk dying and not knowing what it feels like to do this," he answered, and then he was kissing me again. My arms went around his neck, as his hands found my hips and pulled me closer, making me gasp. He took that opportunity to sweep his tongue against mine, and I all but melted against him. The tally board in my head added "great kisser" to the list of superlatives that I'd previously assigned to Darrell C. Powers.

As we pulled away, he leaned his forehead against mine and smiled.

"Sorry. I know that was weird, but I've always wanted to know."

I laughed, "Well, now you can die in peace. You're really good at that, by the way. Emily is a lucky woman."

He blushed. "So are you. Joe is a lucky man."

"What? Joe and I…"

"Kasia, I know you better than anyone on this planet. There is something there between you and Joe. This might not be the time or place for it, and you may have to be patient while he figures it out. But it's there."

"I don't know, sweetie. He confuses the hell out of me. I don't think that he…"

"Well, if he doesn't, there are about twenty other guys in this company that would jump at the chance. Hell, I'll marry you myself!" He joked, knowing it would make me laugh. Someone outside hollered for everyone to load up.

"We'd better go."

"Yeah, but sweetheart, I'm serious. Be patient. There will be a right moment for you, and a right guy to go with it." I smiled and him and nodded, taking his arm as we walked toward the truck where Popeye was leaning.

He grinned as we walked up, teasing, "So, did you two satisfy that curiosity of yours?"

I stuck out my tongue as we climbed aboard, and Shifty elbowed him in the ribs. "Shut up, Pop."


	11. Chapter 10

"Well, we're not in Hell. It's too damn cold." That's what Skip had said when we unloaded from the trucks and walked into the Ardennes forest. We had no cold weather gear, and we were low on ammunition, food, and medical supplies. After a few days in those woods, it became clear that Mother Nature had frozen Hell over, just for us.

The line was stretched impossibly thin, and Easy felt almost alone. The weather was preventing supply drops, and the other companies that we were able to hook up with were as short on provisions as we were. Even the aid station in Bastogne was taxed to the limits, unable to evacuate wounded and giving them alcohol to help with the pain. The ever-useless and chronically absent Lieutenant Dike threw a fit about medics sharing a foxhole, and he was none too happy about me sharing one with any of the men, so I started digging my own. Luckily, Lipton was able to reason with him, convincing him that if I didn't share with someone, I'd freeze and we'd have one less capable medical hand. Now, I just had to find a foxhole buddy, which was easier said than done.

Shifty and Popeye, always protective, wouldn't share with me because they were dug in right on the line. They wouldn't even listen to my protests. Many of the others shared the same sentiment, or their foxholes were already at capacity. Frustrated, I went back to digging my own, and I was struggling to break through the frozen ground when I heard the unmistakable sound of an incoming shell. Lip screamed for everyone to take cover, but I had nowhere to go. The trees above me exploded, and I could feel the hard rain of debris on my helmet as I ran. The ground quaked again and I pitched forward, crawling on my hands and knees through the snow. I couldn't see anything but flashes of light. I felt a tug, and then I was toppling into a foxhole on top of someone just as a broken tree landed where I had been moments before.

The shelling stopped, and for a moment, the silence was just as deafening. I could hear the others begin to call out, checking on everyone. For the most part, it seemed that everyone was okay. Listening for any calls for a medic, I momentarily forgot about my rescuer.

"What the hell were you doing out there? Trying to get yourself killed?" Joe. I met his eyes in the dim light. He was angry with me, but as I began to explain the foxhole situation his face softened a bit. He ran a hand through his hair, and then told me firmly, "You can't dig your own because you'll freeze, and you can't be running around out there. So you're just going to stay in here with me."

His expression told me that he was in no mood for arguing, so I just nodded, settling in as my teeth chattered against the bitter cold. The silence was awkward, and I finally decided to break the ice.

"You know, half the reason for sharing a foxhole is to share body heat for warmth, and you're doing everything but shrinking to keep from touching me. I don't have the plague, Joe."

He let out a breath and chuckled softly, grabbing my sleeve and pulling me into his arms. I smiled up at him, pulling a blanket from my pack and covering us both with it.

"You warm now?"

"I'm getting there."

Another soft chuckle, and then a few minutes of silence and darkness fell around us. Finally, he spoke again, softly.

"Why aren't you sharing a foxhole with your boyfriend?"

"My what?"

"Your boyfriend. Shifty. Did they not want you two to share or something?"

"Shifty is not my boyfriend, Joe. We're friends. That's it. He &amp; Pop thought I'd be too close to the line if I shared with them."

"I saw you two the other night when we were loading up. Saw him pull you away. Heard Popeye talking about you two kissing when you came back out."

"He was curious. Said he had been for a long time, and that if we were going into battle again, he didn't wanna die without knowing what it felt like. But that's it."

"You sure? You two love each other."

"Yes, we do. We love each other, but as friends. We aren't in love. He's dating a girl back home. Her name is Emily. They aren't serious yet, but they'll get there. She's a great girl, and she's great for him. Besides, Shifty is convinced that I've already met the guy I'm supposed to be with."

"Oh?" He tried to make it sound like a question. When I'd told him about Shifty's girl I could feel his relief, but at my last remark, his disappointment started to show again.

"Yeah."

"He a good guy?"

"He's a great guy, Joe. I don't know if it'll go anywhere yet, but Shifty seems convinced. I guess we will see what happens, and how the whole Virginia to San Francisco thing will work out after the war."

"Frisco? How the hell did you meet a guy who lives in Frisco?" I looked at him, eyebrows raised and head cocked to one side, waiting for him to put the pieces together. Finally the tumblers clicked into place and I smiled at his shocked expression, snuggling back down into his chest.

"Any more questions, Corporal?" He was silent, but he pulled me tighter and we fell into a reasonably peaceful sleep.

The next few days were much the same. Time seemed to creep forward as if it had been slowed by the cold. Aside from the occasional barrage, the days and nights were monotonous. The world around us was gray and colorless, and faces of the men began to take on the same pallor. Even though the weather finally cleared enough to allow an air drop, we were hungry and exhausted, and none too thrilled with our "white Christmas."

Private John Julian, a young replacement, was killed on a patrol on Christmas Eve. He'd been sharing a foxhole with Heffron, and Babe was overcome with guilt at not having been able to rescue the wounded man or recover his body to prevent the Germans from getting it. Lieutenant Welsh was wounded when he decided it'd be a wise idea to have a fire, trying to warm up against the bitter cold. The Germans zeroed in on it, dropping artillery right in Welsh's lap. It was just another reminder of how close we were to the enemy, and how easily any one of us could be wounded or killed.

Hoobler and Rader, attempting to lift everyone's spirits, volunteered for guard duty that night as a Christmas present to the men in their squad. Hoob blushed as I kissed him soundly on the cheek.

"You're a prince, Donald Hoobler, and I love you to pieces. Be careful, okay?"

"I will, Kas. I love you too."

Even with Hoob &amp; Rader's generosity, as I slid into the foxhole next to Joe that night, I was far from being in the Christmas spirit. Across the field, I could hear a German voice singing Stille Nacht, and if I'd had my hands on a rifle, I'd have probably tried to pick him off. As it was, I just glared in that direction, muttering about wishing he'd shut the hell up. Joe laughed lightly.

"Merry Christmas, Kasia."

"Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas, Joe."


	12. Chapter 11

The day after Christmas, Patton and his boys managed to break through and allow the evacuation of wounded and the flow of some supplies. The story circulated that they had "rescued" our surrounded division, but we never stood by that version of events. The truth was that we had held the line against the Germans in the worst possible conditions until Patton finally showed up, and we told the cameras that when they made their way through with Colonel Sink a few days later. We might have been miserable, but we still had our pride.

Joe Toye was wounded in the arm on New Year's Eve and sent to the aid station. It was serious but not life-threatening, and the look on his face as I bandaged him up told me that he'd be back sooner rather than later. That was just Joe Toye. He wanted to be fighting alongside the men. He'd had so many brushes with death that he seemed invincible, and the fight in his eyes made me feel better. I was happy that he'd at least get off the line for a bit.

That night, we all ate our share of some unidentifiable concoction, courtesy of Joe Dominguez, and headed back to our foxholes. It was almost midnight, and I was settling in when I felt Joe slide in behind me, pulling me backward into his arms.

"I've got a surprise for ya, Kas."

"Champagne for the new year?"

He laughed. "No champagne. I'm good, but I'm not that good. I did, however, manage to talk Captain Nixon out of a small flask of his Vat69." He held it up in front of me, flashing a smile.

"How did you manage that?"

"I suggested that a little whiskey might help his favorite field nurse stay warm &amp; hydrated. He was only too happy to oblige. Want some?"

We took turns sipping from the flask, and I could feel the warmth seeping into my bones. It didn't take much for us to be tipsy. As much as Nixon drank it, it made me wonder how he functioned. Around us, men counted down to 1945 and began singing Auld Lang Syne. Joe was looking down at me thoughtfully and I watched him, trying to determine what he was thinking. At last, he seemed to make up his mind about something.

"Fuck it," he muttered, draining the last of the whiskey and dropping the flask before pulling me into a heated kiss. My hands immediately went behind his head, pulling him closer as I attempted to turn toward him without separating our lips. Finally we were chest to chest as I straddled his legs and his hands moved to my hips. I gasped at the cool of his hand sliding under my shirt against the sensitive skin of my stomach. He pulled me into him, and I had to stifle a moan as he trailed kisses down my neck, whispering in my ear all the things he'd be doing if we weren't in a foxhole.

"I've wanted this… wanted you… for so long. That night in Aldbourne. That dress. I've had dreams about that night. About us on a blanket in the middle of that field. Or on that cliff in Frisco. A fancy hotel in Paris. Or maybe a new house, in our bedroom that you've just finished decorating. Maybe not here… maybe not tonight… but someday, Kasia. Someday, we're going to be out of this foxhole. We're going to be alone, just you and I, with no war to fight. And when we are, I'm going to make love to you until the sun comes up."

The make-out session and pillow talk continued until we fell asleep in each other's arms, but in the gray light of the New Year's morning, everything seemed awkward and unclear again. Neither of us knew what to say, so we both treated it as though it was purely the result of our whiskey intake the night before, unwilling to acknowledge the invisible boundary that had been crossed between us. Maybe we just thought that things would suddenly make sense after the headaches subsided.

They didn't. In typical fashion, Joe remained almost completely silent around me for the next few days, leaving me to wonder if what I felt that night really had been just a trick of the whiskey. It happened every time we seemed close to starting something. One of us always seemed to pull away, like deep down we knew that the timing was just not right. We needed to talk, but that was easier said than done. I never got to find out what would have come of it if Joe and I had been able to have a conversation about what happened. Just a few days into the New Year, my world changed forever.


	13. Chapter 12

**January 3, 1945**

It was still fairly early when I heard the pop of the gunshot, and we dove for cover. Buck said something about a sniper, but I heard Shifty say that it didn't sound like a rifle. Then I heard Perconte screaming for a medic as Hashey yelled that Hoobler had been shot. Joe tried to grab my arm, but I sprinted toward the sound and skidded to a stop beside Eugene.

"Hurts like a son of a bitch! I think I hit bone," Hoobler was saying. His pistol had snagged on some barbed wire and fired a shot into his leg. Gene was trying to tie a tourniquet and rip his pants to get a better look at the wound, but the layers of clothing he was wearing were making it difficult to see. There was so much blood. Too much. He was shivering now, and not from cold but from blood loss. I tried to shift his focus, clutching his hand and stroking his face.

"Hey, Hoob. I'm here, okay? Focus on me. They're gonna get you fixed up, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry, Kasia. It just went off. It was an accident. What kind of Prince Charming shoots his own leg?"

"I know, Hoob. You're still my prince." I helped wrap him in Buck's jacket, pulling his head into my lap and trying to warm him up as Gene continued trying to find and stem the source of the bleeding.

"I love you, baby girl."

"I know you do, Hoob. I love you too." I kissed him softly on the lips and he smiled up at me. "We're gonna get you back to the aid station. Just hold on."

"It doesn't hurt so bad now," he said, his voice weak.

I turned to Gene, who was trying to tighten the tourniquet as we prepared to move him. Then I heard Buck call for our attention, and I felt Hoob's body go limp, his hand relaxing in mine. I didn't want to look, but I had to see it for myself. His sweet face was pale, and his eyes were closed. I began shaking him, trying unsuccessfully to rouse him.

"Hoob? Stay awake, sweetie. Come on… please… Wake up, Donald, please…" I was choking on my words now, begging for the impossible.

He looked peaceful. Gene said that the bullet must have cut his femoral artery. The evidence of the fatal shot was pooled all around us in the white snow. Even if we'd known, he'd probably never have made it back to the aid station. He had bled out in my arms, and there was nothing I could do about it now but weep.

I don't know how long I sat there cradling him before Gene went to find Bill. I felt him kneel beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and hugging me so that I could cry into his chest.

"Come on, Doll. Perco told me how everything went down. You kept him from being scared and made sure he knew ya loved him. He was at peace. You did everything you could. You've gotta let him go. It's not safe out here, and Hoob wouldn't want you getting hurt."

I allowed him to lead me away, not able to watch as Gene had Hoob's body moved to a jeep. He tucked me into the foxhole alongside him and Malarkey, who wrapped me in a bear hug and kissed me on the top of my head. Later, we moved back to our old position above Foy, and Buck spent the rest of the day going from foxhole to foxhole, lecturing everyone about safety and what had happened with Hoobler. I tried not to listen, finally drifting into a fitful sleep.

The whistling of artillery woke me, and I saw that I was alone. Before I could poke my head out though, Bill and Malarkey came crashing into the hole beside me. The trees were exploding again, and I could make out the figures of men who were caught in the open, desperately trying to find someplace to hide. I closed my eyes tightly, praying that they would find safety.

When the first wave stopped, I could hear Lip telling everyone to stay down and not be drawn out into the open. I saw that Doc Roe was already running to assist the wounded, and Lip pulled Babe out of his foxhole, which had been covered by a fallen tree. He seemed okay. Then I heard a voice.

"I gotta get up," the voice was saying. He was in pain or shock. I knew that voice. Joe Toye was hurt.

"Is that Joe?" Bill asked.

"Yeah, I think that's Joe," Malarkey confirmed. Bill told us both to stay put, and went running off in the direction of Joe's voice. I moved to follow, but Malarkey's arms held me firmly.

"Don, I have to go! He's hurt!"

"No, Kasia. Bill will get him. They're trying to draw everyone out, and we have no idea when it might start up again. Bill told us to stay here."

No sooner had he finished but the barrage began again. I could hear screams coming from the direction that Bill had run, but I couldn't tell who it was or what they were saying. Finally, there was silence again followed by Buck's blood-curdling scream for a medic. Don and I looked at each other and then leapt out of the foxhole at a dead sprint. Gene had gotten there first, and we ran up to see who was hurt and what we could do. I wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted me.

Half of Joe's leg was gone. Bill's was badly mangled, and it was clear that he would lose at least part of it. There would be no going AWOL from the hospital this time. The amazing part, though, was that they were both so calm.

Joe asked Don for a cigarette, muttering about what it took for a guy to get killed around here. He'd had more close calls than anyone could count, and this wound would likely garner him a fourth Purple Heart. I kissed him gently on the cheek and told him I loved him. He smiled, answering me with uncharacteristic emotion, which worried me because it meant he knew how badly he was wounded this time.

"I love you too, Kasia. Take care of yourself out here, and don't be sad. We're going home. That's a good thing." I nodded and gave him a watery smile before he turned away to watch Doc finish wrapping what was left of his leg. I moved toward my Philadelphia John Wayne.

Bill was sitting against a tree, holding his shredded leg and speaking calmly to Lipton. I tried not to let the fear show on my face as I knelt beside him, but I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks. After all, it had only been that morning that I'd lost Hoobler to a leg wound. Bill's blue eyes met mine and he took my hand.

"Doll-face, all that water is just gonna freeze and make your face cold." I gave a sniffling laugh.

"What am I gonna do without you, Bill? You're my knight in shining armor." I ran a hand down his strong jaw.

"I'll stay in touch, sweetheart. Joe and I are gonna be fine. You know us. And I'll always be your Lancelot."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now come here and give me a kiss before these guys send me home," he ordered, pulling me into a kiss so soft and sweet that I almost didn't believe it came from Bill. When he pulled away, he sighed contentedly before allowing himself to be loaded onto the stretcher, and said, "Malarkey, you make sure she's taken care of. I'll see you when you get back to the States, Doll. I love you."

"I love you too, Bill."

I watched as they were loaded onto a jeep. Buck was a mess, having seen them get hit and come upon them before they regained consciousness. He was taken off the line as well. Don put an arm around me as they were driven away, pulling me into his arms and letting me sob against his chest. I felt like that was all I'd been doing all day. After a few minutes, he simply picked me up, carrying me back toward the line.

* * *

****JOE'S POV****

I looked up from reinforcing my cover to see Kasia in Don's arms as he walked back toward the line. She was curled against him so that I couldn't see her face, but Don's looked grim.

"Malark, what happened? What's wrong with her?"

"In a minute, Joe. I need to get her tucked into a foxhole and get her warmed up."

"I'll see if I can find some coffee or something."

I managed to scrounge a cup of coffee, and found Kasia bundled under a blanket in Don's foxhole. Placing the cup into her hands, I instructed her to drink and waited as she took a small sip. Then I looked to Don for an explanation. He motioned me out of her earshot and told me what had happened with Bill and Joe Toye. Adding Hoobler's death that morning, it was no wonder that she looked so broken.

"You know, it really doesn't help that she's worried about you too," Don added, effectively knifing me in the heart. "What happened now? Why haven't you been talking?"

I set my jaw and started to tell him not to worry about it, but he was clearly concerned, and when I looked at her thousand-yard stare, I understood why. I sighed and shrugged.

"We sorta… well, we kinda got a little drunk on Nixon's whiskey on New Year's Eve," I mumbled, looking at the ground. "And I sorta kissed her."

I waited for him to be shocked, but all I got in response was, "Okay… and?"

"And we made out until we fell asleep."

"Again… and?"

"And I don't know, Don! When we woke up, I just freaked out. I mean, this is hardly the place or time."

"You're in love with her." I noticed that it wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. "Joe, we're in the middle of a war here. No, this might not be the best or most convenient place, but what if something happened to one of you? What if you never told her? What if you had to live the rest of your life never knowing what her kiss felt like? You've gotta take your chances while you can get them."

"That makes entirely too much sense, Malark. I just don't know. I don't know if I'm ready for all that… if I'm ready for her. If I'll ever be ready. She should be with somebody like you… or Shifty. Somebody with a level head."

"Maybe you're right. But we both know that you don't want to see her with Shifty. Or me. Although I'll gladly step in," he prodded, and I glared at him without meaning to. "See? Exactly. Look, I'm not saying just to jump into anything. The last thing I'd want is for you to get into something and then break her heart. But if you feel something for her, and I know you do, then you need to let things happen. Stop running from her. Stop giving her the silent treatment. Especially right now, after the day she's had. We all need to stick together, and she needs you."


	14. Chapter 13

**** JOE'S POV****

She had stayed in Malarkey's foxhole the night after Bill &amp; Toye got hit, alternating between tears and fitful sleep. I wanted to go to her, but I knew she needed someone she could trust right now, and that I was not that person. I wanted to be, but it was going to take some work after what had happened on New Year's… and every other time we got close.

I decided the best thing to do would be to start small. The following morning, I took her a cup of coffee.

"Here, Kas. This will help you warm up a little."

She stared at the tin cup for a second, as though she was trying to figure out what it was. Finally, she reached out and took it from me. Once she had taken a sip, I stood to walk away. Her soft voice stopped me, and I turned to see her looking up at me for the first time in days.

"Joe?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Thank you."

"No need. Just trying to look out for you. Let me know if you need anything." I smiled and turned to walk back to my hole.

"You're leaving?" Two words froze me in place. I turned back toward her and she looked like a small child. Her lip was quivering as though she might cry. I couldn't stand it anymore. I jumped down into the hole beside her, sitting down and smiling.

"Not if you don't want me to."

"I don't want you to." My heart jumped, and I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into me. Then she buried her face against my chest and my heart added a little dance.

"Then I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere. Listen, I want to apologize for…"

"No," she said sharply, cutting me off. "I don't want to worry about that right now. I don't want to worry about what any of it means. You're here now. That's all I'm asking for."

I pressed a kiss to her head, and she slid her fingers down to intertwine with mine. As I looked at our tangled hands, I wondered what on Earth I had been so scared of. This was home, even in the middle of a war.

* * *

The fact that Joe was trying to comfort me meant more to me than anything he could have said or done. I knew he was scared of whatever was going on between us. I was too. He didn't see himself settling down, at least not for a while. He had a wild, angry side, and I think he was the "leave them before they leave you" type. I knew that he truly thought I was going to wind up with Shifty, despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise, and I had to accept that he would probably keep me at a distance for fear that I would be gone once the war was over.

Right now, I didn't care about any of that. There was a giant hole in my heart, and I just needed to be near the people I cared about. I needed to know they were safe.

I knew we'd be trying to take Foy some time soon. We could all see across the field to the little town from where the Germans had sent the artillery that took Bill and Joe Toye away. Weary as we were, many of us were eager to get down there and get it over with, although no one was too excited about having to go through it all with Lt. Dike. Mostly, though, I think that we were all hoping that we'd get some kind of reprieve from this sub-zero purgatory we'd been trapped in for the better part of a month.

* * *

Truth be told, Lipton was our leader. He was the rock that Easy Company was built on, and he was still holding firm. He kept us in line, but he also kept our spirits up and made sure that we stayed focused. He was everybody's big brother, and it would have been tough to imagine being out there in the Bois Jacques without him. Especially the day that Muck &amp; Penkala died.

The Germans were pounding us with artillery again. I remember thinking that this must be what fireworks shows look like in Hell. I could hear Lipton screaming for everyone to find or stay in a foxhole, but I could see that George Luz was caught out in the open. He was crawling as quickly as he could toward Muck &amp; Penkala's hole, and my instinct was to go help him, but Don was holding me firmly in place. I began to hyperventilate as the scenario of Joe Toye played in my head again, and I peeked over the edge of our foxhole to see if George had made it.

It felt like slow motion. He was still out in the open, crawling as best he could. One second, Skip &amp; Alex were frantically waving him over. The next, there was a sickening thud as the shell hit paydirt, and then the instantaneous flash of an explosion. When the smoke cleared, they were gone and George was lying motionless. I breathed a sigh of relief when he moved again, and Lipton quickly pulled him into the hole beside him. Then I heard another thud as a shell hit their foxhole. When it wasn't followed by an explosion and I realized that it had been a dud, I began to cry. Putting my own fears aside, losing Lipton or Luz would have been a huge blow to morale. But we had lost Muck and Penkala.

"We're okay, honey," Don told me. I looked at him sadly. "What?"

"Don, I think Skip &amp; Penk…" I couldn't finish. His eyes snapped over to the spot he had last seen them. Roe was knelt over the edge of the foxhole with George. Don started to go over, but George saw and came up to us, shaking his head.

"Don, you don't need to go over there," he said quietly. Compton, Skip, and Penk had been Don's best friends.

"George, I need to see if I can help," Don protested, trying to get past him. George put a hand on Don's chest, holding up Skip's rosary.

"It was a direct hit. There isn't anything left of them to help, buddy. I'm really sorry."

Don took the rosary and sat down hard on the side of our foxhole, staring at it in disbelief. For the rest of the day, we didn't say anything. We just stayed there leaning against each other as we silently grieved the loss of our friends. Lipton, always trying to take care of his men, came by the next day to see if Don wanted to spend a few days as a runner for Winters. Although I didn't want him to leave, I'd secretly hoped he would say 'yes' so that he could get off the line for a while.

"Tell him thanks, but I'm going to stay here," was Don's response. I had known it would be. Lipton suggested that he at least come back for an hour or so to say goodbye to Buck, who was being transferred. Don agreed, which made me feel a little better. Then Lipton, looking at me warily, pulled a Luger out of his jacket.

"Didn't I hear you say you wanted to take a Luger home for your kid brother?" he asked, and Don nodded. "Well, why don't you give him this?"

Don took the pistol in his hand, and I recognized it immediately. Lipton confirmed my suspicion when Don asked. It had been Hoob's, and he had been so proud when he got it that I knew he would have been happy to know that Don was going to be able to take his prize back home.

As Lipton walked away, Don pulled me close to him and asked, "Are you okay with this?"

"Of course I am, sweetheart. He would have wanted someone to enjoy it. Just be careful."

"I will. Listen, we are taking Foy tomorrow. We both know that it could get ugly, especially with Foxhole Norman leading the way. I want you to promise me that you won't take any unnecessary risks. I know you want to save everybody, but I just can't have anything happen to you, okay?"

"Winters and Nixon already told me to stay back here with them. I'll be secondary treatment for any walking wounded, and they don't want to risk losing all of the medics at once. I'll be fine. Now, you listen. I want you back with no extra holes in you, understand?"

He laughed and kissed my forehead. "Yes ma'am. I'm gonna take a walk and check on some of the guys, okay? Joe is pacing over there, and I think he wants to talk to you. He's worried about tomorrow."

I smiled and he jumped out of the foxhole. As he passed Joe, I saw him say something that made Joe's tense shoulders relax. He must've told him that I wasn't going in. I snuggled back down, waiting until Joe jumped into the hole beside me.

"Hey, Princess. I know you're probably not happy about not going in, but I sure as hell am. I think most of the guys will be. One less person for us to worry about… besides, you'd probably get in the way." My eyes snapped up to find him grinning at me. "Just making sure you are paying attention."

I moved to smack him in the chest, but he caught my hand and pulled me close to him.

"Joe," I whispered, "Please come back safe tomorrow."

"I will, princess."

"Good. I can't imagine a world where you weren't here with me."

"I can't either."


	15. Chapter 14

Our worst fears were being realized. From across the field, I could see that Dike had frozen. He had the men open and exposed, and he was huddled against the side of a haystack like a frightened child. Men were being killed, and I had no idea where Joe was. I could see Lipton trying to shake some sense into Dike, but it was useless.

"Spiers!" I heard Winters scream. "Get yourself over here! Get out there and relieve Dike, and take that attack on in."

Any legend that had followed Ronald Spiers since D-Day grew by leaps and bounds the day we took Foy. I watched in absolute awe as he ran across the open field to Dike's position. Within moments, the men were moving forward again, and Spiers was running through the Germans to hook up with I Company on the other side of town. Then he came back. The men successfully took Foy under the leadership of one of the toughest officers on the entire European front.

I saw Dike sitting on a tree stump near Winters as I moved toward the field to see if I could be of any help. I wanted to drag him back out there to show him the bodies of the men that his incompetence had helped to kill, but I moved past him and into town.

The streets I'd been hearing singing from minutes before now looked strangely deserted. Then I heard the rifle. Sniper. I saw Lipton and began to run.

"Kasia!" I heard Shifty scream.

There was another shot, and it felt like I had been punched. Everything went black.

"She's coming around."

"Kasia? Hey, you okay? Come on, sweetheart. Wake up."

I opened my eyes slowly, and saw Don, Joe &amp; Shifty looking down at me.

"What happened? Did I get shot?"

"No, honey," Don answered. "Just tackled. Joe was trying to shield you. Shifty got the sniper."

I sat up slowly, kissing Shifty's cheek. "Of course he did. Thank you, Shifty. And Joe." I touched his hand, and he smiled at me.

"We need to put a protective bubble around you or something."

"Yeah, yeah. So how bad is it. Anybody wounded?"

Don nodded, "Yeah, we lost several… some to the sniper, and some to Dike. Perco got shot in the ass. Easy Company tradition, you know. But he's gonna be okay, and there is no way he will let you treat him."

We all laughed. It was a relief to have taken Foy, but as per usual, there was no rest for the weary. Over the next couple of days, we took two more towns before they finally loaded us up into trucks, not for a break from the line, but for Hagueneau. The troopers who loaded up into those trucks had been at war for less than a year but, after that winter in the woods, it felt like decades.

* * *

****JOE'S POV****

The night we spent in the convent at Rachamps was the first time we'd slept inside in over a month. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she moved around the room, treating those who had been injured and wounded in the most recent battles. My mind kept going back to Foy and the sniper.

_She'd had no idea as she headed into town to assist Doc that we had all been forced to take cover. A handful had already been shot and killed, and I could clearly see the man searching for a new target from the window he was perched in. When he found what he was looking for, and I looked down to see who was out in the open, my blood ran cold._

_The bullet kicked up behind her and she began to run. I was on my feet before I could think, and I dove as I heard him fire another round, covering her body with my own as Shifty removed the danger and the men began to cheer. Then Don and Shifty were beside me._

_"Is she okay? Joe, you're gonna have to move."_

_"She's out." What had Shifty just said? Did I get to her too late?_

_"She's hit? Oh my God, I tried, Shifty. I tried to get to her," I choked. "Where? Where is she hit? Doc! Doc, please!" I was screaming now, frantically searching for Roe's face in the crowd of men.  
_

_Don grabbed my heaving shoulders to stop me from hyperventilating. "Joe, hey. Calm down. It doesn't look like she's hit anywhere. I think she just passed out when you tackled her. She's okay. See? She's waking up."_

_When she came to, she smiled at me and touched my hand, and I knew deep down in my gut that I would jump in front of a moving tank for her. I had already had about all I could stand of this war, but if my being here meant that she was safe, I'd stay here for another hundred years._

_Don looked over her and caught my eyes, mouthing two words. "Tell her."_

I'd been making a list in my head for months. On it were all the things that I planned to do if I made it home alive. As I watched her in the candlelight, with the sound of the nuns singing around us, I realized that all of those pictures in my head had one thing in common. She was in them.

My eyelids were growing heavy, and the heavenly music and her face blurred together in my consciousness to form a picture of her in a white dress, walking down an aisle toward me. Don was right. I had to tell her.

* * *

I was exhausted from days spent treating the men who were wounded as we took Foy, Neuville, &amp; Rachamps. I was running on little food and less sleep, and hauling my weary body into the tall bed of the truck was proving difficult. As I searched for something to grab onto, I felt two strong hands under my arms, pulling me upward.

"Thanks, Roy. Guess I'm just a little more tired than I thought."

"Tired? Hell, you haven't slept in days, Kas. And you don't sound so good. We've got a long ride. Here's a blanket. Why don't you try to get some rest, okay? We can't afford to lose you." I kissed his cheek and he smiled at me. When he stayed away from the alcohol, Roy Cobb could be a great man. "Go on," he added, nodding toward the front of the truck. "Joe's over there."

I narrowed my eyes at his knowing grin, but made my way in the direction he had indicated and took the seat next to Joe. He looked concerned as I coughed deeply, and ran a hand across my forehead.

"You're burning up. You been kissing Lipton or something? You sound as bad as he does." I laughed, which caused another coughing fit, and Joe opened my canteen so that I could get a drink. When the coughing had finally subsided, he pulled me into his lap, covering me with the blanket before wrapping his arms around me and tucking my face into the crook of his neck. "I've got you, princess. I want you to get some sleep, okay?"

He kissed my forehead as the trucks began to move toward whatever awaited us in Hagueneau, and I settled into his arms and a dreamless sleep.


	16. Chapter 15

Joe woke me up just as the trucks were rumbling into town. I still didn't feel great, but the sleep had helped tremendously, and I stretched as I looked around at the war-torn buildings. The Germans were just across the river. We knew it. They knew it. But we had shelter and beds now, and that lifted our spirits a bit.

"Hey guys!" I felt Joe's body tense, and looked up to see Webster climbing onto our truck, bright-eyed and cheery in his fresh, clean uniform. Apparently, it had escaped his Harvard-educated attention that we had all been through hell, and he was full of stupid questions. He asked about Hoobler, and I felt my heart drop to my stomach. Then he made a remark about how he was surprised I was still here, but that I made dirty ODs look good, and I had to resist the urge to slap that star-spangled smile off of his face. Joe quickly put a protective arm around me.

After all, Webster had been gone since he got hit in the leg in Holland, spending the freezing December sleeping at the replacement depot instead of in a foxhole in the woods. When Joe mentioned going AWOL to help us out in Bastogne, his face was absent of understanding. Clearly, the thought had never occurred to him.

"I don't know how I would've done that…" he started, and Joe interrupted, his face tight.

"Funny, 'cuz Popeye found a way. So did Alley, after half his body got peppered with a potato masher. And Kasia here. And Toye and Guarnere…"

"Yeah, where is Guarnere? He still your platoon sergeant?"

"Dammit, Webster! Does it look like he's still our platoon sergeant? Do you see him anywhere? Or Toye? They got hit! They got their fucking legs blown off! Do you see Muck and Penkala? Or Hoobler? No! Because they're dead! They died in the middle of a frozen nightmare in the woods while you were propping your damned foot up at the replacement depot! You'd think that, since they sent you here from the REPLACEMENT DEPOT, you'd be smart enough to figure out that you were probably REPLACING someone! Use that College Boy logic of yours. If you don't see someone, they probably got hit! And in case you haven't noticed from the condition of our uniforms, we haven't been golfing and lying by the pool while you were gone. Quit being so oblivious, and knock off the stupid questions!" Joe smirked at his surprised face as I finished my rant, and then he and Malarkey helped me out of the truck.

I moved to apologize to Malarkey who, for the moment, was leading our platoon, but he just patted me on the shoulder. "Don't you dare. You just said what we were all thinking." A mortar whistled overhead, and we ducked. Webster, however, dove for cover, laying out across the ground as though he expected the town to crash down around him. Realizing his overreaction, he scrambled back to his feet, and Don winked at me. "What's the matter there, Webster? Nervous in the service?"

We settled into Hagueneau, grateful to be indoors. Doc checked me out and reassured me that, unlike Lipton's pneumonia, I was just suffering from a bad cold. I was tucked into a bed, wrapped in blankets, and ordered to go back to sleep until they came to get me.

* * *

"Chéri, wake up. We've got showers. When the guys are done, they're all yours."

Doc was sitting on the edge of my bed looking down at me, and I smiled when he mentioned showers. Then I noticed that he wasn't returning my smile.

"Gene, what's wrong?" He sighed and looked down.

"We lost Keane to a mortar round."

"Another one? I thought the Germans were supposed to be finished!" I started to rant but before I could get going, Gene interrupted me.

"Sink is making Winters send a patrol across the river."

"Excuse me?"

"He wants prisoners for interrogation. Sending 15 men in boats across the river."

"Who is he sending?"

"I'm sure they'll be fine."

"Eugene, who is he sending?"

"Liebgott is translator and Malarkey is leading."

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled so loud that they probably heard me outside.

* * *

When I saw Don again, I was relieved to find out that he had been taken off the patrol. He was clean, but he still looked worn and much older than he had when I'd first seen his smiling face. He hugged me tightly and pointed me toward the showers where Joe was among the last of the men finishing up.

"Doc told you." He met me as he came out of the showers, buttoning up his clean uniform. "Well, sounds like Malarkey is out now, so you don't have to worry about him. And you know me. I'll be okay. We'll all be okay. Except maybe Webster, if we all decide to leave him over there." I cracked a smile, but it was weak. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. It would've been far more convincing if his face hadn't been so grim. "Stop worrying and go take a shower. I have to go to the briefing."


	17. Chapter 16

**Thanks to all of my patient reviewers. This chapter isn't for the faint of heart.**

* * *

**** JOE'S POV ****

Webster's remark that he spoke "a little German" only served to increase my irritation at him as we sat in the briefing. I wasn't scared of going on the patrol. I thought it was risky and futile, but I wasn't scared of it. We sat around that room staring at each other as Winters laid out the plan. Rubber boats, a full moon, and a quick run across the river to grab some Germans. No big deal. Except it could get us all killed. Apparently Sink thought it was worth the risk.

I had never refused any order I'd ever been given, but I truly hated the idea of going on this patrol. We all did. All I could see as I listened to the briefing was Kasia's worried face. I had accepted the idea of death a long time ago, but the thought that I might die without telling her how I felt gnawed at my stomach. I'd been putting it off and making excuses long enough. I needed to bite the bullet before it was too late. The thought weighed heavy as we were dismissed and headed for the door.

I saw Webster ahead of us, approaching Martin and Spiers as they discussed the patrol with Winters. Grant leaned over to me, commenting on Webster attempting to get out of the patrol, so we circled that way to hear what was being said.

"Liebgott and I both speak German. You said 15 men. There were 16 of us, including two translators," he was saying. Son of a bitch. He just got back and he was trying to get out of this?

"Fine. Hey, Liebgott," Spiers called. "You wanna sit this one out?" I wasn't sure what made me happier. The news that I didn't have to go on the patrol, or the crestfallen look on Webster's face when his plan backfired. I winked at him as we walked by, grinning like a kid on Christmas.

"Great," Chuck elbowed me. "Now you can go fess up to that girlie of yours."

* * *

The water was barely lukewarm, but it felt heavenly. When they were finished, the guys had thoughtfully closed off the shower against the building so that I'd have a measure of privacy if anyone should walk by. The sight of the grime and blood from the last month being washed away made up for the tepid water and the cold air pricking needles into my skin. My blood. And Bill's. Joe Toye's and Hoob's. I was cleansing myself. It was supposed to be painful.

Eyes closed, I rinsed the soap from my hair and stepped from underneath the water. The cool rush of wind hit me and I looked up, expecting that it had blown the flap open. Instead, I found Joe leaning against the building just inside the tent. His eyes were roaming over my body and I could feel my temperature rising. By the time he reached my face, I was sure that my blush covered every inch of me.

"Joe, what are you…?"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that Webster is translator on the patrol. Spiers took me off."

"You're not going on the patrol?"

"No. I'm…"

My arms were around him before he could finish his sentence. I was so thrilled to hear that he wasn't going that I momentarily forgot that I was naked. Feeling his rigid posture, I leaned back to look up at him, embarrassed by my impulsive reaction.

"I'm sorry. I just…"

Now it was Joe who did the interrupting. His lips crashed to mine, his hands gripping my bare hips. I felt the wall, gritty and cold against my back, and Joe tangling his fingers in my hair as he kissed down my neck. His hands were everywhere and I couldn't get enough.

I felt them sliding over my skin, still slick from the water. He gripped my neck, exploring my mouth as though he was trying to pull the breath from my lungs. He cupped my breasts, running his thumbs across them and causing my skin to prickle. His hands moved down my sides and hips, cupping my rear so that he could lift me off the ground. My legs wrapped around his waist and I gasped as his hips ground into mine.

His tongue followed his fingers, licking the moisture from my body. The rough material of his ODs was rubbing against my center. My head fell back against the wall as his mouth worked against my skin. My fingers tangling in his hair seemed to drive him on and I moaned as his teeth bit down gently on my nipple. My hand dropped between us and I undid the button on his trousers.

"Kasia, wait," he breathed, "I've gotta tell you something."

"Right now?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

We stared at each other for a second, frozen in the realization of what we had just done. The line in the sand had been erased. He leaned in and kissed me again, deep and slow. My hand slipped between us again, sliding into his trousers.

"Are you sure you want to… fuck…" The expletive was drawn out in a slow breath as I wrapped my fingers around him, and I smirked.

"Now, now, Joseph. That's a crude way to ask a lady about…"

His teeth grazed my nipple again, interrupting my smartass remark with a moan. Now it was his turn to smirk.

"Now that I have your attention, let me ask you again. Are… you… sure?"

"I want you."

His smirk was gone, replaced by a fire in his eyes as he licked his lips. He stared into my eyes and we both breathed a sigh of satisfaction as he slid slowly inside me. He stilled, allowing us both time to get used to the feeling.

"Oh my God, baby," he whispered against my lips. "Are we really doing this?"

"You can move, Joe. Please."

I felt, rather than saw, his smile. Just like I felt the cold grit of the stone wall marking my back and Joe's shoulder muscles tensing against my arms as he pressed me to it. His movements were unhurried and deliberate, finding and hitting a spot inside me that had me struggling to stifle my cries of pleasure. I buried my face in his neck as the first waves of pleasure washed over me.

He dove into kissing me again, no longer concerned about being gentle. One arm wrapped around my lower back, pulling me down so that he could move deeper inside me, his hips snapping forward a little harder with every thrust.

Our bodies were moving on instinct now. My hips found and met his rhythm on their own. I no longer felt the wall biting into the skin of my back, and Joe paid no attention to my fingernails digging into his shoulder blades. I could feel myself getting close again. Joe could too, and he moved his hand between us so that his thumb could brush across that bundle of nerves that sent my head spinning.

My body began to quiver, and I could hear the blood in my ears as he began to coax me toward the edge.

"That's it, princess. Just like that. You like this don't you," he prodded, his voice breathy and ragged. "You like turning me on. Getting me so hot that I can't think straight?"

"Just like you like walking in on my shower?" I returned his challenge. "Standing there in secret while you watch me? Watch me rub that soap all over my skin? Watch the water running down my body?"

He groaned at my words, burying himself inside me with new determination. It was our same game of sexual tension and snarky challenges, always pushing buttons to see who could hold out the longest. Only this time, it wasn't a question of who would give in, but of who would let go first.

"You like this. Me nailing you against the wall of this building? Knowing that anybody could walk by and hear us? But you don't care anymore, do you? You like that feeling in your stomach. That feeling that you're doing something dangerous… something dirty. It feels good, doesn't it?"

The growl of his voice sent goosebumps across my skin. I nodded. He had me now, and he knew it. All I could do was hold on. It felt like he might actually drive me through the wall. Now he was whispering in my ear.

"Who's making you feel good, princess?"

"You," I choked out.

"Say it, Kasia. I wanna hear you say it."

"It's you, Joe. You feel so good inside me."

"Damn right I do. This is all mine, you hear me? I told you in that foxhole what I was gonna do to you when I got you alone."

"Joe," I whimpered, stars clouding my vision.

"Fuck, you sound good saying my name like that."

"Joe, please…" My muscles were rigid, body tensing as he drove me toward the cliff.

"That's it. So close baby. Who gives a fuck if the whole company hears you? Tell them who is making you feel so good. Let it go."

That was it. The dam burst, and his name tumbled from my mouth over and over again as I rode the crest of the wave. The sound and feeling of my release around him was the last push he needed, cursing as he emptied himself into me with one final thrust.

"You're not going to avoid me tomorrow, are you?" I asked, breaking the silence between us. His arms tightened around me, and he kissed behind my ear.

"I love you so fucking much, princess. I'm not going anywhere."


	18. Chapter 17

He didn't disappoint me. That night, he left me only when he had to provide covering fire for the patrol. When Doc and I emerged from the basement and Jackson's blood was on my hands, Joe was waiting to pull me into his arms.

"We couldn't save him, Joe. Jackson's dead."

"You did everything you could, baby. Come on. Let's get that blood off of you."

He led me back into the basement of OP2, sitting me on a bunk and pulling his jacket off. He grabbed a clean cloth and his canteen and knelt in front of me, scrubbing the red-brown stains from my skin. When he finished, he turned my hands over in his, checking to make sure he had gotten it all and rubbing his thumbs across my palms.

"Thank you, Joe."

"Princess, you don't have to thank me. That's what I'm here for. I love you."

I leaned forward to meet his lips, breathing in his scent and trying to pull him closer. He pulled away long enough to stretch out on the bunk next to me and wrap me in his arms. His touches were slow and soft now, nothing like the heated moments we had shared the day before. My body slowly relaxed into his, and the tears I'd been fighting for the last several hours slid down my cheeks and added salt to the kiss.

* * *

**** JOE'S POV ****

She was tired of losing people. Eugene Jackson was a kid, barely old enough to grow facial hair, and Kasia had watched him die in agony after a patrol that never should have happened. This was my chance to live up to my word. To be the man she needed me to be. The man she deserved.

Her fingernails slid across the skin under my tank top and I let out a breath. Yesterday, her eyes had held pure lust; a heated desire that lit me from the inside out. Right now, I saw quiet need. She needed to feel better and feel loved. She needed to forget about this war for a while, and she needed me to make that happen.

I could taste her tears and began to rub small circles against her skin, hoping to coax the heartache out of her. She allowed me to remove her blood-stained clothing, and I took my time exploring her body. Her skin was salty-sweet, and still soft beneath her uniform despite the months in the field. She smelled of perspiration and soap from our long overdue showers, and underneath it all was something distinctly feminine… distinctly Kasia.

She pulled my shirt over my head, saying, "I need to feel you next to me."

I pulled her closer, trying to maintain my composure as her breasts met my bare chest. I wanted to take my time, so I focused on caressing and massaging every inch of her skin. Her goosebumps rose underneath my fingertips. The shower had been a blur. There were words and moans and cries of pleasure. Now it was quiet gasps and whispers. Our kisses became a conversation as we showed, rather than said, how we felt. That was fine with me. I'd never been that great with pretty words anyway.

I ran my tongue along her breasts, teasing one nipple and then the other. My fingers ran down her stomach and along her hip bone, and she shuddered as I reached her center. I felt the shudder and met her eyes. She looked so small and vulnerable beneath me, but she gave me a small nod letting me know that she wanted me to continue.

This time, I moved gently. Our bodies fit so perfectly together, and our movements were completely in sync. I'd always laughed at people who talked about "making love" to a woman. Sex had always been just that… sex. It wasn't that I didn't care about girls I had been with before. I'd just never had my emotional connection with a woman heighten my physical senses the way it did with Kasia. For once in my life, as our bodies joined, I was as completely aware of her as I was of myself.

I saw us holding hands in San Francisco, and her walking toward me on our wedding day. There was a house with a tiny pink bicycle and a porch swing out front. It's a stunning feeling to realize that you've met the woman you want to mother your children.

I slowed my movements, savoring the feeling of being inside her. We reached the edge together, and I kissed her again, whispering, "I love you, baby," against her lips as she came undone in my arms.

When I was spent, I lay next to her and pulled her into me, tucking her hair back behind her ear.

"I wish we were at home, Joe. At home in our own bed, and we didn't have to move."

"Soon, princess. We'll be home soon."


	19. Chapter 18

**I'm so sorry that it's been awhile, and that this one is a little short. I just got back from nearly two weeks in Normandy (&amp; Belgium), seeing the places that were touched by Easy Company and so many others, as well as meeting the amazing actors who helped inspire us to write these stories... They were some of the kindest, most gracious men I've ever had the pleasure to meet, and I have returned full of inspiration, so I promise that I will get back to updating regularly!**

**Thanks for sticking with me!**

* * *

"Soon" wasn't soon enough. We were relieved from Haguenau and sent back to Mourmelon to rest and recuperate, and we received the Presidential Unit Citation. It was an honor and a privilege but it wasn't a ticket home, which was all we really wanted at this point. We'd been in combat for less than a year, but it felt like much longer. The youthful exuberance was gone, replaced with cynicism and exhaustion. We were still an incredibly effective unit, melded by our shared experiences, but most of us were operating on a sort of mental autopilot. We had become machines of war which, I suppose, was the point.

Rumor had it that the Germans were running out of steam, which was welcome news to everyone. We just wished they'd hurry up about it. As it was, the month was soon over and we were restocked with fresh-faced replacements that had never used a razor and eagerly talked about jumping into Berlin and killing Hitler as though they were going to win the war all by themselves, and they sent us off to occupy Germany.

For me and Joe, the month in Mourmelon was the closest we had ever come to acting like a normal couple. We might have been sitting in a room full of soldiers, but we were still going to a movie together. He'd still wrap an arm around me and let me rest my head against his shoulder. We held hands and stole kisses, and as we did try not to be too obvious about it, the officers pretended not to notice. I guess they figured that we were close enough to the end, and that if it didn't affect our training or missions it didn't really matter. Maybe we could finally start thinking about the strange concept of "after the war."

One night, our group was walking back toward the barracks, and Joe slipped his hand into mine. He'd been more quiet than usual, and I could tell he was thinking about something, but it was always better to let him talk when he was ready so I didn't ask. Finally, he spoke.

"Kas, I've been thinking. I know you've got your family, and Shifty and Popeye… I love San Francisco, but I want you to know that if you want us to stay in Virginia after we get married, I will."

The whole group- me, Shifty, Popeye, Luz, Don, and Talbert- stopped, staring at him with open mouths. He looked confused.

George sputtered, "Did you just say what I think you said?"

"What?"

"After we get married?" Talbert repeated.

Joe's eyes grew wide for a moment as he thought about what he had said. He looked at me, panic in his eyes. I was afraid for a moment that he was going to push me away and run again. He caught me completely off guard.

"I just assumed… I mean, I was going to officially ask later, after I could get a ring… but, I mean, if you don't want to… Shit, I'm sorry. It's okay. I mean, I understand… after everything, why would you want to…"

"Joe!" I interrupted. He looked up at me, startled. "I didn't say no. This is just the first time I've heard you talking about the future in a long time. After everything we've been through, of course I want to marry you."

For the first time in months, I saw a genuine smile on his face. He moved to kiss me, but then stopped short. Now it was my turn to look confused.

"Shifty? Popeye?"

"Yes, Joe?"

"I'd like your permission to marry your best friend."


	20. Chapter 19

"Something is wrong here, Joe."

He was holding my hand as the trucks rolled into Landsberg, Germany, and I squeezed hard. I didn't know what it was. Nothing looked out of place, at least not any more than any other war-torn town we'd been to. I just had this feeling of absolute dread.

"What do you mean, babe? Look at this place. We'll be sleeping inside. We'll have showers and bathrooms and actual food. It'll be a nice change."

"I don't know. I just have a really bad feeling about this place."

He kissed my finger where he had tied a piece of string as an engagement ring the night he proposed, then hugged me tight, reassuring me that everything would be okay, and that the war was almost over. Soon, we would be going home and getting married. We could buy a house and start our family, and we'd never have to fire a weapon or treat a wounded man ever again.

Over the next few days, we settled in and set up an outpost, which we took turns manning. Things were mostly uneventful, except for Perconte losing it on some starry-eyed replacement in much the same way that I had on Webster when he first got back. I knew he felt bad, but what he had said to the kid had been right on. He wanted to "see some real action," and he had no damned idea what he was talking about.

When I saw Perco sprinting through the streets a few days later, breathless and looking for officers, my first thought was that he'd killed that kid while they were out on a patrol. My second thought was that they'd run into some Germans who had been hiding out in the woods, and that there had been a firefight. I'd give anything to have been right, because I was not prepared for the reality.

What I saw when we stepped out of that jeep in the woods was the most gut-wrenching thing I have ever seen, or ever hope to see. They were gray-skinned and beyond malnourished. They almost didn't look human anymore, and after learning about Hitler's plans, I suppose that was the point. They'd been branded with numbers, like cattle. The smell of death and disease was unbearable. Joe clutched my hand.

"My God, you were right."

I didn't think it could get worse, but I was wrong. I stood nearby as Joe translated for the officers, questioning one of the men in the camp. The guards shot some prisoners and burned some alive in their huts before locking the gates and escaping into the woods. These men weren't criminals. They were normal people of all trades and backgrounds. Then the man said something that made my blood run cold… Juden.

I saw the devastation on Joe's face even before he uttered the translation. Jews. They'd been done this way because they were Jews, and according to the man, there was a women's camp at the next railroad stop. I didn't have to ask. I could see in his eyes that Joe was seeing the faces of his own friends and family as he looked out over the camp. The anguished cry of this man as he reached a skeletal hand toward the women's camp could have just as easily been Joe's, reaching out for a mother, wife, sister, or daughter that he couldn't reach.

The men rushed back into town to gather food and water, and anything else they could find to offer sustenance and treatment. When they returned, the prisoners were almost climbing over each other to get to it. Colonel Sink called Winters and Nixon over to talk to the regimental surgeon. Sink and the surgeon looked apologetic, but Nixon looked pissed.

"What's that about?" I wondered aloud.

"How the hell should I know?" Joe snapped. His anger startled me but, considering our surroundings and what we had learned, I brushed it off. I couldn't blame him. We were all upset, but for him this was a particularly bitter pill to swallow. I saw Winters motion Joe over to where he and Nixon were standing, and I edged within hearing range. Winters said that we had to keep the men in camp and stop feeding them. He wanted Joe to make the announcement to the prisoners. I saw Joe's head drop.

**** LATER ****

We knew it was for the best, and that these men were going to get the best possible care. That didn't make it any easier. Joe had done as he was told, and the prisoners had reacted with tears and anguished cries that I didn't need translated to understand. After he had spoken, I watched him sink down into a seat in the back of the truck and sob for a moment. Then he ran his hands through his hair and set his jaw. When he looked up again his eyes were dead. Angry Joe was back. It was almost as terrifying as the scene around me.

As we loaded back up on the trucks to return to town, I moved to comfort him. He stared blankly out the side of the truck, not acknowledging my presence, even when I sat down beside him. His leg was bouncing erratically, as though he were about to explode, and I could almost feel the anger and hatred radiating off of him.

"Hey."

Nothing.

"Joe?"

Still nothing. The others were watching us carefully now. Something was clearly very wrong. Everything was wrong, in fact. I placed my hand lightly on his sleeve and he didn't budge, so I tried to slide my hand into his. He pulled away and looked up at me, his eyes flashing fire.

"Don't fucking touch me."

"What? I…"

"I said don't fucking touch me."

He got up and stormed back to the furthest corner of the truck, as far away from me as he could get. I was too stunned to react, so I spent the rest of the brief ride speechless and mouth agape, staring out the side of the truck.

"Hey, sweetheart. We're back. Come on. We need to go shower," Don prodded, and I realized that everyone else had gotten out already.

I let him help me down and followed him into our barracks. Out of habit, I stopped in front of the bunk where Joe was laying and smoking a cigarette. Usually, he'd grab my arm as I walked by and pull me, giggling, down on top of him so that he could kiss me. Today, he didn't take his eyes off the ceiling.

"What?"

Behind me, Don grabbed some clothes and pushed me in the direction of the showers. I waited until I was under the water to break down. I knew that Joe was angry about the camp. I wanted to be understanding and patient. After all, he'd been a jerk to me before and we'd gotten through it. This time, though, it was harder to take. After being a couple… after professing our love… after he had proposed… it hurt a lot.

I cried until I was exhausted. When I got out of the shower, I could hear Don's voice. I wasn't sure who he was talking to, but he sounded pissed.

"I understand it was hard on him. That isn't an excuse to treat your fiance' like shit! If he just needed some time alone, I'm sure all he had to do was say so. But no. Typical Joe and his anger problem. He just shuts down and lashes out. I hope he sleeps on this tonight and realizes what he's doing."


	21. Chapter 20

It had been weeks since we found that God-forsaken camp. We'd been moved to Thalem to supervise cleanup there. A group of us were looking out over the town from a bombed out house. Below us, people were moving slowly around the rubble, silently picking through the pieces and remains of their lives and trying to put things back together. They looked how I felt.

If this war was teaching me anything, it was that life could change in an instant. Joe was sitting just a few feet away, but it felt like we were miles apart. He had barely spoken to me since we'd found the camp, and what few exchanges we did have were short and unpleasant. He was looking to take his anger out on something. Winters wouldn't let him take it out on the Germans, and none of the other guys would put up with it, so I became his outlet.

I heard Joe say something about Mozart, referring to the music they were playing, and corrected him without thinking.

"Beethoven."

"What'd you say?"

There was that anger flashing again.

"Nothing," I answered, trying to let it go.

"You think I really give a fuck who the fuck they listen to while they clean up this shitty little town?"

"Forget it. I'm sorry I said anything."

He stood and slammed the chair he'd been sitting in against the wall, causing me to jump. Bull stood up beside me, tense.

"Enough, Joe."

Joe shot him a glare. He looked ready to fight, although he clearly had no chance against Bull, but Nixon interrupted us before anything else could be said or done.

"Hitler's dead." All eyes snapped to him as he continued, "Shot himself in Berlin."

For a moment, I had hope. Then we listened as he explained that we were moving out again. Before the coward committed suicide, Hitler ordered his SS to hole up in the mountains and continue fighting. Hitler was dead and we still couldn't go home. The war still wasn't over.

**** Berchtesgaden, April 8, 1945 ****

We rolled into the birthplace of national Socialism prepared for a fight, but the streets were deserted. The town had been cleared out in a hurry, but not before the Germans had done all they could to block the roads. We took the Eagle's Nest anyway, cheering the whole way up the mountain.

By the time Winters told us that the German army had surrendered, hope was starting to creep back in again. We uncovered an enormous stash of liquor, wine, and champagne and Easy Company celebrated V-E Day in style. Somewhere, they even managed to round up a few German ladies to flirt with. We were hilariously, irrevocably, unbelievably drunk, but for the first time in weeks, even Joe looked happy.

I caught him watching me across the room as I absent-mindedly played with the string still tied around my finger, and when he walked outside to smoke a cigarette, I moved to follow him, hoping to talk and put the hell of the last month behind us. Don grabbed my wrist as I walked by.

"Sweetheart, please be careful. He's drunk, and I would hate to have to kill him."

I nodded and made my way out the door. I didn't see him at first, so it startled me when he spoke up from behind me.

"You looking for me?"

He was leaned up against the side of the building, just out of the glow of the light from the doorway, smoking his cigarette and looking at me out of the corner of his eye. If it hadn't been for the way he'd been treating me lately, I'd have thought he looked sexy.

"Yeah. Well, I just thought we could talk."

"About?"

"I don't know, Joe. Landsberg…"

"I don't want to talk about that fuckin' place. Ever."

Great. Drunk Joe was angry. Again.

"Okay, fine. The last few weeks, then. Us…"

"Us? What about us?"

Was he serious?

"Joe, I'm supposed to be here for you. That's what this string around my finger is there for. If I'm going to be your wife…"

"I don't need anyone to be here for me. I don't need a wife. I don't need you."

"Joe," I choked. "You don't know what you're saying right now. You're drunk. You need to sleep it off, and then do something about this anger you have. Talk to somebody or something."

He smirked, and I felt like a knife had just gone through my heart. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled the string from my finger, tossing it to the ground.

Leaning down into my face, he spat, "I know exactly what I'm saying. You have no idea what I need. You don't get it. You're never going to get it. So just leave me the fuck alone already."

He seemed satisfied when the tears welled up in my eyes, the alcohol helping him to reach a new level of cruelty. Then he left me standing there in my misery and, as if to reiterate his point, walked back inside, leaving the door open so that I couldn't miss him walking up and throwing his arm around one of the women. Don and Bull came out the door a split-second later, only to find me already sobbing against the wall.

"Sweetheart, what happened out here?" Don demanded.

"Malark, look," Bull elbowed him, motioning toward the knotted string on the ground and then to my empty finger.

Don's eyes snapped to mine, and the whole story came rushing out of me. By the end, they were both hugging and reassuring me, but I still felt like someone had carved my heart out with a blunt knife. Knowing that I'd never make it back inside, they walked me back to the barracks and tucked me into bed. I was too exhausted to protest, and they talked over me as I fell asleep.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard," Bull was growling. "Drunk or not. He's been treating her like shit for weeks now."

Don smirked, "Yeah, and he's probably not even going to remember this tomorrow. He's been drinking all day."

**** DON'S POV ****

"Rise and shine."

I was talking as loudly as I could, kicking the end of his bed and pulling his blanket off. With Bull's help, we'd scooted his bunk so that it would be in the direct sunlight, and he groaned as he covered his eyes. He looked green. I was going to do everything in my power to make sure he felt as shitty as possible.

Bull came back over with bucket of water and threw it on him.

"Get your ass up out of bed, boy."

"What the fuck is everybody's problem?" he sputtered, glaring up at us. We just stood our ground until he finally got up, half-walking and half-dragging him into the shower, turning on the cold water. He was ready to fight, but so was I.

"Go ahead, Joe. Take a swing. We've been putting up with your shit for weeks now, and believe me, after last night…" I was too mad to even finish, but Bull picked up where I left off.

"Nothing would make us happier than for you to give us an excuse to whip your ass."

"What are you talking about?"

"What a shock. You don't remember. Well, allow us to enlighten you."

We gave him a rundown of what had happened the night before, and he seemed genuinely unaware of what he'd done but, to my frustration, remained unapologetic.

"I don't need her, Don. And she doesn't need me. I did us both a favor."

"She doesn't want to give up on you, Joe. She wants to believe that last night was just because you were drunk, and that this anger is something you'll get past."

"Maybe I was drunk, but it doesn't change anything. It's over. She needs to give up and leave me alone. I don't want to marry her. I don't want to be with her. She'll just get back to the States and find somebody else whose relatives don't get put into camps just for being who they are. Somebody better. Somebody who isn't pissed off at the world."

So that's what this was about? That camp had hit him hard, and made him feel exactly like it was meant to make everyone in it feel. Like less. Like he didn't deserve any better. He thought that she was going to leave him, so he was leaving her first.

"Man, get serious. She loves you. And you love her."

"No. No, I don't. You have to have a heart to love somebody, Malark. I don't love her. I don't love anybody."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement and looked up to see Kasia standing there. The look on her face told me that she'd heard the last comment. That he'd managed to crush her one more time.


	22. Chapter 21

As usual, Shifty knew exactly what I needed. If I slipped off by myself during the day to wallow in my misery, he made sure that someone was right behind me, talking to me or making me laugh before I could sink too deep into my depression. At night one of the guys, usually Shifty, would slip into my bunk beside me. Some nights, typically with Shifty, I cried while he held me. Others, I laughed, either because George was cracking jokes and doing impressions, or because Bull was squeezed into the tiny bunk next to me, trying to balance not falling off and not squishing me. Still other nights, especially with Shifty or Don, we just talked.

They became a protective barrier between Joe and me, making sure that he didn't have many opportunities to cut me further with his anger and sarcasm. They were my therapy; bright spots in what should have been a much happier time than it was turning out to be. They reminded me that the war in Europe was over, that we were in a beautiful place, and that they were beside me, no matter what happened. Surrounded by men who loved me, I began to realize that I was going to be okay, even if Joe wasn't one of them.

I was sitting on my bunk one afternoon, looking through some old photos of Easy that Winters had given me. Faces so familiar, and yet so foreign. What had been a matter of a few years now felt like decades. Hoobler's sweet smile shone up at me, and I could hear him talking about being my prince. It was hard to believe that he would never get the chance to be anyone's prince now. There was one of Bill and I. He stood behind me, arms around my waist, giving me a kiss on the cheek as I giggled. I wondered what he would have said if he were here now. A stream of Philly-accented curses came to mind, and I laughed in spite of myself. Damn, I missed that man.

Skinny Sisk broke me out of my thoughts, coming in to say that Spiers wanted to meet with us. I tucked the pictures back into my bag and followed him out. A few minutes later, we were in a room with Webster and Joe, listening to Spiers tell us about some intelligence that he had picked up about the commandant of one of the Nazi slave camps. He said he wanted us to interrogate him, but his sustained eye contact with Joe and the sickened look on Webster's face led me to believe that there was an earlier part of this conversation that Skinny and I had not been made aware of. Joe's face held what could only be described as excitement, so it wasn't much of a leap to guess that Spiers had given him an order to kill the commandant.

Orders were orders, and Spiers was not a man to argue with. I wasn't thrilled, but I also trusted his assessment of the intelligence. He must have his reasons. He picked Joe because he knew the job would get done. He picked Webster because he would act as Joe's conscience. Webster would not stop him from carrying out the order, but would prevent him from torturing the man, as we all knew that he would if left to his own devices. Not that I wouldn't have tried, but physically, I was no match for Joe. Webster could hold his own, if necessary. He picked Skinny and I because we trusted his judgement and followed orders. Captain Ronald Spiers had a reason for everything he did.

The ride was quiet, but as we sat in the jeep, looking down the lane at the tiny hut, Webster began to try to rationalize with Joe. He argued that we didn't really know that this man was guilty of anything, and asked whether Joe was doing this for personal reasons. Joe referred back to Spiers' order, but we all knew that this was more than a little personal.

He was practically buzzing as he leapt from the jeep, talking about Landsberg and marching toward the house with an obvious sense of purpose. We followed behind him as he nearly tore the door off the hinges, barking in German at the startled man inside who, it seemed, had been cooking on a small stove. Skinny and Webster checked the house for anyone else as I moved between the man and his stove, separating him from anything he might try to use as a weapon.

Joe seemed controlled at first, but the German's denials of his accusations unraveled his calm demeanor quickly. When he began screaming at the man in English, I knew that he had crossed the threshold. This was going to end badly. I moved forward, trying to bring the situation back under control.

He moved so quickly that I didn't even see him shove me. He looked skinny, but he was solid muscle and surprisingly strong, especially when he was angry. It felt like I'd been picked up and thrown into the wall. I threw up a hand to brace myself, and felt a sharp pain through my wrist. I watched in terror as Joe screamed in the face of the man he suspected of being a Nazi camp leader, pointing his pistol at the man's head and eventually firing at him. The man made it outside with Joe on his heels, but I heard another shot and assumed that he'd been killed. Spiers had given the order, but Joe had been all too eager to follow it.

Joe had been so different since we left Landsberg. His anger had always been there under the surface, but after we left that camp, it was frightening. I saw it in flashes with the other guys, but with me, it was almost constant now. I assumed that it was because I seemed the easiest target. I'd fallen in love with him over the last three years. Before we'd discovered that camp, it seemed as though he shared my feelings and that we might be at the beginning of building a life together. Now, with every word and action, he seemed determined to make it clear that he didn't love anyone, least of all me.

It seemed that everything I said or did was wrong. If he spoke to me at all, it was sarcastic or hateful. I had wanted to believe that it was alcohol and anger than caused him to take my "ring" off and to say the things he said. I didn't want to give up on Joe, but when I tried to ask him about it, he would say something hateful or say that I should "leave him the fuck alone."

Sitting on the floor of that kitchen in tears, hearing him outside screaming at me to hurry up, I decided that I'd give him his wish. I picked myself up and walked slowly outside, ignoring the soreness in my back and clutching my quickly swelling wrist.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I could hear him snap at me as I walked past him to climb into the jeep. I didn't acknowledge him.

"Skinny, sweetie, can you help me up here? Thank you." He helped me into the back of the jeep, watching my ginger movements carefully. I waved him off and told him that I was fine. He climbed in beside me, and we sat in silence on the ride back to our barracks.

I saw Joe give Spiers an almost imperceptible nod as we passed, acknowledging that his order had been followed. He screeched to a stop in front of our building, and Skinny jumped out and yelled for Doc before I could tell him not to.

"Skinny, I'm fine."

"No, you aren't! Doc, she's in pain. I think her back is hurt, and look at her wrist."

Webster and Joe came around the side of the jeep as Doc pulled up the back of my blouse, looking at the newly formed bruises. Sweet, baby-faced Skinny was absolutely fuming. He'd been in the house. He knew why I was injured. Doc dropped my shirt and turned his attention to my wrist.

"It might be broken, chéri. Sprained at least. What the hell happened here?"

"I felt a pop and a sharp pain. I don't know."

"No, I mean how did this happen? Did you fall or something? Your back just looks bruised, but I need to stabilize this wrist. I really think it's broken."

Skinny's eyes burned into mine, willing me to tell Doc the truth. I looked over Doc's shoulder at Joe. He was staring at my injured wrist in horror, as if he suddenly realized what had been going on for the last few weeks.

"We went to carry out Spiers' order about that Nazi Commandant, and we had a bit of an altercation at the house. He tried to run."

"Well, belle, I'm gonna run and grab something to wrap your wrist for now. Then we need to get you over to the hospital to put a proper cast on it. Otherwise, it's not going to heal right. Skinny, will you run and get some ice for the swelling? Check over at battalion mess. Web, please go with him. Stay here. I'll be right back."

As Doc ran to get a splint, Skinny looked between Joe and I, asking, "Are you gonna be okay here with him?" I nodded, and he glared daggers at Joe before he took Webster to find some ice. "I hope you're proud of yourself, Liebgott. If I'd have had it my way, she'd have told Doc everything. Do NOT fucking touch her again. I mean it."

The look on his face was fierce. For once, Joe actually looked a bit intimidated, and he nodded slightly. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, staring in horror at my wrist as the realization of his behavior over the past few weeks finally began to sink in.

"Doc will be back in a second. You can go. You don't have to stand here."

"Kasia, I…"

"Just go, Joe. Seriously. You've been pushing me away for weeks now, wanting me to leave you the fuck alone. Well, you finally succeeded. I've had enough. I'm done. I'm gone."

I stood up from the seat of the jeep, moving around him to meet Doc as he approached with the splint. He hung his head, running his fingers through his hair the way he always did when he was really upset, and moving aside as Doc put me back in the jeep to take me to the hospital.

My wrist was not broken, but it was dislocated. The doctor set it and re-splinted it, arguing that I should stay at the hospital. I wasn't having it, and Doc assured him that he could keep an eye on the swelling and restrict my activities. Finally, realizing that I would just go AWOL anyway, he released me to Doc's care. I guess he'd heard enough about our company to know that we wouldn't be kept down for long.

**** JOE'S POV ****

I saw Shifty wrap his arms around her when she walked back into the barracks. Her wrist was splinted, and I could see from my bunk how swollen and discolored it was. I heard her tell him that it wasn't broken but dislocated, and I winced. My anger had done that to her.

I'd spent weeks driving her away with my hatefulness, allowing what had happened at Landsberg, and the knowledge that there were so many other camps, consume me. It ate at my soul. I hadn't felt an emotion other than anger since we'd left that God-forsaken hellhole, until I watched Doc examine her in the jeep. Her back… her wrist… In my blind rage, I couldn't even remember exactly what had happened, but I knew I was responsible.

When we'd walked into the barracks, Shifty had asked where she was. I felt a pain in my chest, right where my heart used to be.

Skinny was quick to answer, "Tell him, Joe. Tell him what you did." I couldn't bring myself to say anything, and when Skinny recounted the story, I truly thought that Shifty Powers was going to kill me. I had never seen him so angry. I didn't move as he railed at me. I deserved it all.

Finally, seeing that I wasn't going to fight back, he looked me in the eye and said, "You have got to get your anger under control. No one blames you for what you feel about Landsberg. But that woman didn't have anything to do with it. You've been treating her terribly for weeks now, and she's been taking it because she loves you. She thought she could wait you out. After all the horrible things you've said, you went and put your hands on her? Joe, you may have just blown the best thing that ever happened to you."

I'd been lying on my bunk for the last few hours with those words ringing in my ears. When she came in and talked to Shifty, part of me wanted to grovel at her feet on my hands and knees. The other part wanted to stay as far away from her as possible, so that I'd never be able to hurt her again.

The truth didn't get out to many of the guys. Kasia held on to the story about an altercation with the commandant. Other than Shifty, Skinny and Webster, only Don and Bull knew the truth. They really didn't have much to say to me after that, but they respected her right to keep it quiet. Skinny was quick to remind me, though, that she was only doing it to keep me out of trouble. Had Spiers found out, I certainly would have been court-martialed. He probably would've shot me without giving it a second thought. I doubt I'd have cared.

She stayed true to the last words she had spoken to me. She didn't just avoid me. She looked through me. It was as though I no longer existed. Without her, I felt like I'd had part of me amputated.


	23. Chapter 22

**Thanks to all my followers and reviewers! You're all amazing. Go check out my latest one-shot, BEFORE YOU GO. I've issued a challenge to all of you... Good luck :)**

* * *

The news that Easy would be redeployed to the Pacific came as no surprise, but it still hit us hard. We'd seen the film on the brutality over there, and most of us who had already seen combat had already had our fill. So many veterans didn't have the required points to go home, even though many of them had jumped on D-Day. Shifty was one of those.

The fact that he'd never been wounded or injured worked against him. He was 15 points short, although he'd been on the line since the beginning, and saved countless lives with his sharp eyes and his rifle. He didn't even complain about it, but it didn't really sit well with any of us.

It was then that I truly got to see the kind of family that we had created within Easy Company. General Taylor, in all his wisdom, organized a D-Day anniversary lottery that would allow one member of each company to be discharged immediately, regardless of points. I watched in absolute awe as the boys went, one by one, to Lt. Welsh to have their names withdrawn from the lottery. Everyone but Shifty, who knew nothing of the plan. The look on his face when Spiers called his name was enough to shake the cloud that had been hanging over my head.

A few days later, we stood at the truck that would carry him on the first leg of his well-deserved trip home. I tried not to cry. I really did. I was incredibly happy for him. It was just so hard to imagine being without him. His hug was tight and his voice was strained.

"Sweetheart, you have to promise me that you'll take care of yourself. And don't go trying to be a hero. You don't need many more points. Do what you have to do and come home to Virginia. I'll see you soon, okay? I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I'll miss you." He kissed my cheek and smiled at me before climbing in the truck. Neither of us had any idea that, an hour later, that truck would be hit by a drunken corporal from another regiment. My sweet Shifty, who had never gotten a scratch on him in combat, made it out of the wreck with a severe concussion and a shattered pelvis, among other injuries. The irony that he would be confined to a hospital long after many of the men had made it home was not lost on any of us in later years. There was nothing fair about this war.

* * *

**** JOE POV ****

"Hey, Joe. Did ya hear about Shifty Powers?"

I looked up to see a replacement whose name I couldn't remember.

"Yeah, he's headed home."

"No, man. Damn shame too. The guy went the whole war without getting hit."

Now he had my attention. If something had happened to Shifty, Kasia would be destroyed.

"What are you talking about?"

"He was headed to the boat and his jeep got hit by some drunk corporal. He's in pretty bad shape. Broken bones and a head injury…"

I didn't wait for him to finish. Deep down, I knew she wouldn't want to see me, but I had to see her. I had to make sure she knew, and that she was okay. I took off running. I could hear her crying before I even got inside. She was curled up in Bull's lap, with Don and Popeye on either side of her, and they did not look happy to see me. I stopped at my bunk, knowing they'd never let me get any closer, but I ached to comfort her.

_"Joe, you may have just blown the best thing that ever happened to you."_

Maybe he was wrong and I still had time. Maybe I hadn't completely lost her. But maybe I had. In the past, when things were bad between us, I'd still catch her watching me sometimes. She still looked concerned when she thought I was sick or hurt. She still laughed when I said something funny. Not anymore. She didn't look at me with hatred, or anger, or even sadness. She didn't look at me at all. It was as if I simply wasn't there.

We were preparing to go to Japan. We'd seen the news reports. We knew that we were headed for more brutality. More of us were going to die. I wasn't sure that I could stand the idea of jumping into another hell with her hating me. They say that time heals all wounds. Could time heal this one enough to at least allow me to tell her I was sorry? Would she give me another chance, or even accept my apology?

Shifty's words were still ringing in my head when Nixon came in.

"Come on, sweetheart. Your jeep is here."

Her what?

"My what?"

"You're going home. Doc isn't happy with how your wrist is healing, and you've had enough shit to deal with lately."

"But I don't want to…"

"Sweetheart, the war is almost over. We probably won't even make it to the Pacific. Please, trust me. We'll all come see you as soon as we get out of here. Besides, Doc and the guys here went to Spiers and let him know about your condition." He shot a pointed look in my direction. Shit. Did he know? If he did, I was dead.

Her eyes were panicked as she looked around the room. The men surrounding her looked sad but unapologetic. They had obviously done what they felt they must.

"Y'all told Spiers? If the war is almost over, I don't see what difference it makes if I'm here or at home. Now that Shifty won't be there, I'm not going to have anybody."

Don spoke first.

"Baby girl, you're not going to be alone. We will be back in the States soon enough, and so will Shifty. It's safer for you over there. Doctors. Hospitals. Everything you need. It's going to be okay."

Popeye picked up, "Shifty didn't tell you before he left, but he wrote to Joe and Bill to tell them you were coming home. They're only about 4 hours away from Richmond, and Bill made Shifty promise after he got hit. Told him that if you ever needed to come home before the rest of us, all he had to do was send word and you'd be taken care of. Bill's getting a room ready for you to stay until Shifty gets home. You won't be going through anything alone. I promise."

"Shifty knew I was getting sent home?"

"Yeah," Nixon answered. "He said something to Spiers and me a couple of weeks after your run-in with the Nazi. Told Spiers he needed to know that there was more going on than just your wrist."

If Shifty didn't rat me out to Spiers, what the hell were they talking about? Nixon looked like he wanted to say something else, but I saw Bull shake his head and Nixon changed the subject.

"The good news is that the jeep driver has strict orders to take you to the hospital to see Shifty before you go home. You can go chew his ass for telling on you. After you hug him, of course. I hear he's alert and talking. He should be happy to see you."

"I get to see Shifty?"

Nixon nodded. She gave a shuddering, resigned sigh and moved around the room to exchange hugs and love with everyone. Well, everyone except me. Not a pained look. Not even a sideways glance. Bull stood up and wrapped an arm around her.

"Time to go see Shifty, and tell the guy we miss him around here. Come on, Baby Blue. We'll walk you out."

Time had run out. She was gone.


	24. Chapter 23

**** JOE POV ****

**August 15, 1945**

Shifty hadn't been our only casualty in Austria, after the war in Europe was supposed to be over. Janovec had been killed in a jeep accident, and Grant had been shot in the head by some drunk, lowlife replacement from I Company who had also killed German and British officers. Thanks to Spiers' relentless nature, a German brain surgeon had saved Chuck's life, but he was in for a very long road. Spiers showed a great deal of restraint by not killing the shooter, but I finally realized that night just how much anger was inside of me. I beat the hell out of that little bastard, and I enjoyed it enough that it scared me. Kasia's face at the Commandant's house flashed in my mind. I spent the rest of the night talking to Doc and the chaplain, vowing that I would get myself under control.

It felt a bit like we were back at Toccoa, although this time, we understood that there were circles of Hell that existed beyond the sadistic Sobel. The last two months had passed slowly while we trained for war and waited to be redeployed. The guys and I were on better terms these days, not that I didn't endure some lectures in the getting there. I was making an honest effort to figure out what this anger thing was all about, and my attitude had improved considerably. Of course, they also probably felt a little bad because I'd been walking around like I had a great big hole in my chest since she left. I got the feeling that they knew something I didn't, but I couldn't bear to press the matter much. It was physically painful to even hear her name.

August in Austria was beautiful, and we were taking advantage of the weather with a baseball game. For that moment, we were kids again. There was no war, and all we had to argue about was strikes and balls and who was safe at third. The officers were watching over us like proud parents, enjoying the laughter of their children. I felt better than I had in a long time.

My breath hitched a little when Spiers called for us to gather around. Had we finally received redeployment orders? Did we have to trade this peaceful valley in for the bloody Pacific so soon? The others shifted nervously around me, and I knew I wasn't the only one thinking that way.

"This morning, President Truman received the unconditional surrender from the Japanese. War's over."

When Winters finished speaking, the immediate reaction was stunned silence. It was D-Day plus 434. We'd been at war for over a year, and preparing for it for two before that. The idea that we were going home was somehow more shocking than being redeployed. As reality sank in, the mood switched from shock to jubilation. We cheered. We shook hands. We hugged. We remembered those who had beaten us home, but as broken men, and those who didn't live to see this moment. And I thought of Kasia. Maybe I could go to Philadelphia before I went home. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bull approaching me.

"Joe? I'd meant to give you this before, but it just never seemed like the right time. She left it here with me after everything happened. You should have it."

He handed me a photograph. It was of me and Kasia in Mourmelon after I proposed. I was tying that stupid string around her finger as a joke, but she'd worn it proudly. She never took it off, until… Until I took it off of her and destroyed the life we'd been building. What was I thinking? She wouldn't want to see me, and I'd be lucky if Joe and Bill didn't use their prostheses to beat my head in. I couldn't just show up in Philly. Not before I could prove that I had changed. Not before I had something to offer her. I sighed. California, here I come.

* * *

**November 1945**

The war had ended in August, and we'd had a steady stream of visitors as the boys started coming home. Bill had prepared a nice room for me, and we fell into our old routines without missing a beat. After three years of practice, we knew each other's habits and idiosyncrasies. We talked for hours, about everything or nothing at all. We cooked, cleaned, went out, and worked. He and Joe spoiled me rotten, and I introduced him to a friend of mine, Fran. I still missed Shifty, but he was improving steadily, and would be home before too long. Mostly, I was happy.

Right now though, laying in agony in the hospital bed, I wondered how my life had managed to get so screwed up. Fran, Bill and Joe were in the waiting room, along with my sweet Luz, who had driven from Rhode Island to surprise us. He wound up with more of a surprise than he bargained for but, in typical George fashion, kept me laughing all the way to the hospital. Damn, I'd missed him.

The room was a flurry of activity. There were several people talking to me at once, giving the same instructions. Pressure. Pushing. Screaming. Pain. Then nothing.

At last, a cry. The most beautiful sound in the world. Maybe I hadn't screwed up my life quite as bad as I thought.

"It's a girl."

The doctor placed a swaddled bundle in my arms, and I looked down at the most beautiful creature I'd even seen. Lily. Her name is Lily.

"Where's my niece?" Fran asked as she and the guys entered the room and gathered around my bed. I pulled back the blanket so that they could see her sweet face and placed her into Bill's arms.

"Hiya, beautiful," he whispered, stroking her cheek with one finger. She looked up at him with unfocused eyes and squeaked contentedly before falling back asleep.

Fran and I laughed as three of the strongest men I'd ever known oohed and ahhed, cooing over every little sound she made. When she wrapped a tiny fist around George's finger, I actually saw tears in his eyes.

"Bill…"

"You okay, Doll?"

"Will she hate me because she doesn't have her daddy?"

George jumped in before he could answer.

"Sweetheart, don't you even think like that! Between us, Shifty, and the rest of the guys, this little angel is going to be surrounded by more love than she knows what to do with, and so are you. What happened was not your fault, and you never know what the future is going to hold." The others nodded and murmured in agreement as George continued, now speaking to Lily, "We're gonna take such good care of you and your mama."

* * *

**** JOE POV ****

**June 1948**

The war had been over for almost three years. How had the time gone by so quickly? I wasn't sure. It seemed like yesterday that I'd walked into that shower in Haguenau. On a good day, she only crossed my mind once or twice. I still missed her, but I'd heard George talking about her at the last reunion, and it sounded like they might have something between them. I didn't stay long enough to find out, and I was careful to never ask the other guys about her. I didn't want to know.

I made up my mind to get over her, and set about dating half of San Francisco. Well, at least the half that was only looking for a night of fun. Maybe not the healthiest of responses, but my "leave them first" mentality had kicked in again and I didn't ever want to miss another woman like I missed Kasia. For a few months, I returned to a very dark place. Then, Easy Company rescued me again.

I'd been walking the streets aimlessly, not really looking for company, but far too restless to stay home. It was the day after Christmas, so I'd been surrounded by family for a week and I just needed a little breathing room. My mother, like all mothers, could be a little overwhelming and she kept trying to find me "a nice girl." Last night, after Christmas dinner, she'd delivered the guilt that only a mother could. She hadn't meant to. She didn't know what an asshole I had been after Landsberg. It didn't matter. Her comment dug into me like a barbed hook that just keeps working its way deeper.

"Joey, I just don't understand. What happened between you and that girl over there? Whatever you said or did, you can apologize for it. You need to go see her. Tell her that you are sorry. It may not amount to anything but that, but if you don't, it is going to eat you alive. You say you don't want a wife and a family, but I see in your eyes that you do. If there is even a chance that this Kasia might be the one for you, you have to take it. If she's not, at least maybe you can get past this anger you have had inside you for the last few months."

Yep. My mom called me out on the anger. The one thing that I'd sworn I wouldn't allow to overwhelm me again. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed I'd stopped walking. I looked around to get my bearings again and saw that I was in front of a church. I could hear music and, for reasons I still can't explain, I opened the door and walked inside. There was a priest at the back of the church, and he greeted me as I entered.

"Liebgott? Is that you?"

"Maloney! What are the odds? How the he… How have you been?"

He laughed at my near slip and shook my hand. He knew me too well. He'd been the chaplain I'd gotten close to at the end of the war. We lost touch after we returned home, but he was the one who had been helping me deal with my anger in Europe. I knew that it was no coincidence that I had been brought to this church tonight. It didn't take long before we were seated in a pew as I spilled my guts to him again.

I started over that night. I started speaking to Father Maloney at least once a week. I swore off of dating until I got my life in order. How could I ever hope to find a good girl if I wasn't in a good place? Maloney told me that I would know when I was ready. My anger faded and disappeared. I laughed more. I opened my own barbershop. I bought a house. There was only one thing left to do. Make peace. I took a deep breath and started the letter.

_Bill,_

_Hey man, how are you? It was great to see you at the reunion last year, and wonderful to meet Fran. You two make a great couple. Last time we talked on the phone, it sounded like you might be getting ready to make an honest woman of her. If you decide you want to honeymoon in California, let me know. I'll check around and find a nice place for you. _

_Okay, enough with the small talk. You and I both know I could have told you that on the phone. Look, man. There are some things I need to say, and I wasn't sure I could get it all out over the phone._

_I was so angry for a long time. You know that. I was in a very dark place. I recognized it toward the end of the war, and I tried to do something about it. Then we came home, and it felt like life had just carried on without us while we were gone. It has taken me a while to get my mind right, man. I know you know what I'm talking about. _

_But around Christmas, I ran into Maloney. He's a priest now at a church not far from me. It's a long story, but we started talking. Now he counsels me at least once a week, and I've finally been able to let that anger go. I bought a house, and I'm fixing it up. I own my own barbershop. I'm in such a better place right now. I sent you a few pictures- me and Maloney, the house, and the shop. _

_Which brings me to this letter. My final step toward that better place I've been building._

_Bill, I really need to apologize to Kasia. In person. Not a phone call or a piece of paper. I need her to see that I've changed, and that I mean it. I want her to see that I learned something from what happened between us, and that I will never allow that to happen again. _

_I just can't go my whole life knowing that the last exchanges we had were so hateful. I need her to know that the love was real. That it was always there, even though I turned into such an asshole after Landsberg. I loved her then. I love her now, and I will always love her._

_I know you're protective of her, and I swear to you that I'm not trying to sweet-talk my way back into the picture. I heard George talking at the last reunion, and I already know they've got something going on. It's fine. No hard feelings. It is just important to me to make peace with her. Maybe then we can both leave the past behind us. Even be friends someday, if George doesn't mind. Or maybe not._

_I was too much of a coward to just show up in Philly. I don't know if she would even give me the chance to talk to her. There is really no reason why she should. But if she would listen to anybody, it would be you._

_Please, Bill. I'm asking as a brother._

_Joe_


	25. Chapter 24

**July 15, 1948**

"Come on, Doll. The reunion is a month away. You haven't gone to one yet, and everyone wants to see you and Lily."

"I don't know, Bill. It's in San Francisco. What if he's there?"

"Sweetheart, I hope he is. The two of you need to put this behind you. I really think he's in a different place in his life now. You have nothing to be afraid of. Besides, we will all be there to protect you."

"I'm not worried about that, Bill. I'm worried about Lily."

"Lily? Why?"

"Because… I kept her from him because of his anger. Because I was protecting her after what happened in Austria. But if he really has changed… how am I going to tell him that he has a daughter? What if he doesn't want anything to do with her?"

"Not possible. She's the most beautiful little girl in the world. But if that happens, then she still has a ton of uncles who love her to death. If he really has changed, you should give him the chance to make that choice."

I looked over at the crib where my daughter was napping. She looked so much like Joe. With tears on my cheeks, I looked up at him and revealed my deeper fear.

"What if he hates me for not telling him three years ago?"

Bill pulled me close and kissed my forehead.

"Trust me. He will understand. Come to the reunion. Visit with everybody. If he is there, listen to what he has to say. Then introduce him to his daughter."

"I can't, Bill. I just can't."

* * *

**** JOE POV ****

**July 31, 1948**

I got a letter back from Bill. It was short, but it left knots in my stomach.

_Joe,_

_I'm really happy for you, man. As far as Kasia, I can't tell you how she will feel about talking to you, but I agree that you both need to put the past behind you. She's stubborn though, so it's going to take some work to get her to listen._

_I'll tell you what. Be at the reunion. I'll get her there._

_And Joe… whatever happens… please remember that she only did what she thought was best. She's as worried about the mistakes she feels like she made as you are about yours._

_See you soon._

_Bill_

* * *

**** BILL POV ****

"Alright, Doll. I'm all in and you're on the ropes. What are you gonna do?"

It was late. Me, Fran, Toye, his girl, and Kasia had been playing poker most of the night. I was having a bit of a lucky streak, and I saw a bit of an opportunity.

"You know I can't match that bet."

"I'll tell you what. You wanna call the bet? I'll put my money up. But if I win, you go to the reunion. And you take your blue dress from Aldbourne." She started to protest, but I interrupted, "Uh uh. I know it still fits because I saw you trying it on earlier. Might even look better on you now than it did then."

I shot her a wink and watched as she checked her cards. She was thinking hard. I'd hit the right nerve. She hated to back down on a bet she thought she could win. I also knew when I saw her trying the dress on earlier that part of her really did want to go with us to the reunion. I didn't push. I waited for her to make up her mind.

"You're on."

"Alright, lay 'em down, Doll."

"Full house," she grinned.

I groaned and pretended to be crestfallen as I laid my cards out on the table.

"Aww, man… good think I had this straight flush then!"

She looked at the cards in shock, and then shot me a glare. I just laughed.

"Read 'em and weep, baby. Pack your bags. You're going to Frisco!"

She stuck her tongue out at me, muttering, "Shut up, Bill."

* * *

**August 14, 1948**

Lily and I had ridden in a car with George, and Bill and Joe Toye had taken another with their girlfriends. We had turned a potentially long road trip into a sight-seeing tour of the country and, all in all, it had been a blast so far. My fear didn't really spike until we saw the San Francisco sign. George reached over and took my hand.

"Baby girl, it's going to be fine. Just breathe."

"I'm trying."

"Here's our hotel. Let's get checked in, and then we can relax for a bit. We don't have anything to do until the barbecue tomorrow afternoon."

We all pulled in and unloaded the cars, stretching our legs as we checked into this cute little hotel. The rooms all adjoined, and Bill came through the door between ours as I was laying out our luggage and hanging up my dress. He threw open the curtains to reveal a stunning view of the ocean and the beach. It was so beautiful that I stopped what I was doing and walked over to the window with him.

"Check this out! How would you like to wake up to that every day?"

"Yeah, I think I could handle that. I might just fall in love in this place."

"Never know, Doll," he grinned at me. "You just might."


	26. Chapter 25

**August 15, 1948**

"You ready to go, Lily Darlin'? Mommy is taking forever!" George asked her in a dramatic voice, tickling her tummy as she giggled at him.

He had taken her shopping earlier in the day, and she was wearing a precious little sundress and matching sandals. Instead of a bow, she wore a flower clip in her little ringlets, and she clutched a little purse as though it were her favorite thing in the whole world.

He really did have good taste, and he loved spoiling his Lily Darlin'. Her middle name was Darrellyn, after Shifty, and George had picked up on it early. She'd been his Lily Darlin', or just Lily D, ever since. She adored him. He was going to be an amazing father.

"I hear you talking about me in there, Luz! I'm almost done. Just let me put my shoes on. You guys are the ones who insisted that I get all dressed up tonight, and now you're giving me a hard time," I called from the bathroom, and I could see him pretending to be scared as I emerged. "Well, do I look okay?"

He smiled my favorite smile. The one where his eyes crinkled around the corners and his whole face lit up. He threw Lily's bag over his shoulder and lifted her onto his hip, walking us out to the car.

"You look beautiful. Come on. The others went on ahead. Everyone will be so excited to see you and Lily. The place isn't far from here, so just breathe. It's going to be okay."

He was right. Five minutes later, we pulled up in front of a cute little two-story home and walked around a well-landscaped path to a gate along the back fence. I could smell the food cooking, and hear the friendly banter of familiar voices beyond and my stomach dropped to my shoes. George caught my eye and winked, mouthing at me to "breathe." Then he opened the gate and walked Lily and I through.

* * *

**** JOE POV ****

I hadn't had a moment to sit down since people started showing up. Between greeting old friends and shuffling food between the kitchen and the barbecue, I was too busy to even think. As I drove away from the house, on my way to the store for more supplies, I saw Bill and Toye get out of their car. Neither of the women with them were Kasia. She hadn't come with them after all. I wasn't completely surprised, but it hurt a lot. I'd done so much damage that she wasn't even willing to talk to me three years later. When I got back to the house, I dropped the bags in the kitchen and went upstairs to clear my head before Bill officially opened the reunion.

* * *

"Kasia!" came a booming Arkansas drawl, and I was suddenly lifted off the ground. "You and that dress, lady. You're something else!"

"Well, hello there yourself, handsome! I've missed you. You haven't come to visit us."

"You haven't come to visit me either, sweetheart. If you had, I'd never have let you leave. Hey, Shifty! Get over here and see your woman!"

He winked at me and I was instantly glad that I'd allowed Bill to talk me into coming. I'd missed that sweet smile and the sparkle in his eyes. I'd missed all of these guys. I'd seen a number of them since we'd been home, but not often enough. We were family. Shifty walked up and gave me a long hug before shaking George's hand. Lily reached for him instantly.

"When did you have a kid, George? Oh, wait. She's cute. She can't be yours," Bull joked.

Shifty grinned as Lily buried her face in his shoulder, suddenly shy in the presence of the giant man.

"Bull, have you met my namesake? This is Lily Darrellyn. Lily, this is your Uncle Bull."

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Lily."

He took her tiny hand in his and shook it, and the ice was broken. Suddenly she was surrounded by uncles, some familiar and some introducing themselves, all captivated by the vivacious toddler. My little Lily became the life of the party, and George and Bill just smiled at me as if issuing a silent "I told you so."

Toye motioned us over to a crowded table near the small podium, and as we settled in, I got my first opportunity to really look around. From the outside, the house looked beautiful. I assumed that it was a vacation home that the guys had rented to make the reunion a little more personal and comfortable. The back yard was nicely sized, fitting our large group with relative comfort, and from it you could see the water. There was a large swing on the back porch that would have made a perfect place to read or watch the sunset. It was obvious that someone had put a lot of work into it.

I didn't know what the inside looked like, but I mused out loud that I could be happy living here, and wondered if it was for sale. For some reason, Don Malarkey, who was sitting next to me, nearly choked on his iced tea.

Bill patted his back and shot him a strange look before saying, "I don't think so, Doll, but I'll talk to the owner. Looks like everybody is pretty much here, so I'm going to go ahead and get this thing started."

He stood and kissed Fran on the cheek before heading over to the podium and testing the small microphone and speaker. When he had everyone's attention, he began to speak and I was reminded of one of the million reasons why I loved him. Even Lily sat still in Shifty's lap, watching him speak as she so often had when he read her bedtime stories. There was just something about Bill that made you want to listen.

"Welcome to the third annual Easy Company reunion. I am so glad to see so many familiar faces here tonight, and to meet so many new ones. Some of you boys found women who were way out of your league. I'm speaking for myself on that as well, so congratulations to all of us," he began, and the group laughed.

"I'm sure he is reconsidering now that we are all here, but it's too late now, so I'd like to thank our friend, Joe Liebgott for allowing us to host these next few days here at his home. He's done a great job with this place, and if any of you need a trim or a shave while you're here, don't forget to drop by his barbershop on the boardwalk down the street."

I stared at him, trying not to let my mouth drop. Had he really just said this house was Joe's? His twinkling eyes met mine, winking to confirm it. At least now I understood why Bill had been so insistent about me coming and wearing the dress. No wonder Don had choked when I mentioned living here. I searched the crowded yard for Joe's face and saw him sitting down on the porch steps as though he had just walked outside. He hadn't seen me yet, as I was well-shielded by the guys. I turned my attention back to Bill, trying to decide what I should do next and whether I wanted him to see me or not.

"Three years ago today, the war that brought this family together came to an end. Now, we come together to celebrate the lives of those we lost, and the twists of fate that bonded this diverse group forever. I'm so glad that all of you could make it. Let's enjoy this reunion, this beautiful city, and each other," he concluded to a round of applause.

I elbowed him as he sat back down, and he grinned over at me.

"Don't be mad, Doll. If I told you, you wouldn't have come."

Fran, sensing that I was overwhelmed, grabbed my arm and said, "Come on. Let me show you the inside of the house while you plot your revenge. I know you're dying to see it. Joe's across the yard talking, so he won't see you until you're ready."

I didn't see Bill mouth his thanks, but she bent down and gave him a quick peck on the lips before leading me into the house. It was perfect. It was simple and elegant, not overdone with frilly decorations or completely barren as many bachelor's houses. As we made our way from room to room, it occurred to me that perhaps he had someone in his life, and that she had helped him decorate. I hadn't realized that I had spoken aloud as we walked upstairs until Fran interrupted me.

"If she was important enough to help him decorate, there would be a picture of her somewhere. The only pictures of women in this house are of his mother and sisters," she informed, showing me the upstairs guest bed and bathrooms before leading me down the hall. "Well, I say that but... There is one other picture."

I looked at her, confused, as she opened a door to show me the master bath. She saw my face and motioned her head to the bed across the room. I turned, realizing that we must be in Joe's room. There was a large window with a seat that overlooked the backyard and the ocean. A dresser and mirror that someone had refinished sat against the wall. In one corner sat a comfortable looking brass bed and a nightstand, with a small lamp that illuminated it. Then I saw it. My feet carried me forward, but my eyes snapped back to Fran, and she smiled. There on the nightstand, under the glow of the lamp, sat a small frame. It held a worn photograph of Joe in Mourmelon, tying a string around my finger.

"I've got to talk to him, Fran."

"I know."

"He's going to hate me."

"He might, but there is only one way to find that out."


	27. Chapter 26

We stepped back outside and I took a deep breath and looked around. Lily was back with George now, resting her head contentedly on his shoulder as he talked with a few of the guys. The sun was setting. There was music playing, and the groups of men laughing and talking reminded me a lot of those little pubs in Europe where we used to spend our free time during rest periods. Fran gave me a hug and then walked back over to Bill, who just slid his arm casually around her waist and he continued talking. They were so cute.

I spotted Joe in a chair across the yard, smoking a cigarette. His back was to me, and he appeared to be deep in conversation with Don. I took a deep breath and willed myself forward. Don smiled over his shoulder as I approached, stopping next to his chair as he bent down to stub his cigarette out in the ashtray at his feet.

"Good evening, trooper."

It was deja-vu. The dress. The words. The situation. The way his eyes travelled from my shoes up my body. His eyes met mine and Don cleared his throat.

"That would be my cue. I'll talk to you two later."

We barely heard him. Joe stood up in front of me so that I had to look up at him.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I didn't know you had come."

"Yeah, I rode with George."

"Oh." I didn't miss the disappointment. He must think that George and I were together.

"Listen, I need to…" We both started talking at once and then stopped, laughing nervously. He grew serious again and slid his hands into mine.

"Please, let me get this out first." I nodded, so he continued, "I begged Bill to find a way for me to talk to you. I want to apologize to you for everything. For taking out my anger on you after Landsberg. For the million hateful words and looks. For the times that you begged for me to talk to someone about my anger and I didn't listen. I'm so sorry for what happened on V-E Day. It took me awhile to realize that I'd thrown away the life we were trying to build together. And after all that, you were still there. You still wanted to help me and love me. You kept trying to forgive me and move forward and I just kept taking it for granted. I was heartless and cruel, and I am so, so sorry."

He had tears on his cheeks, looking down at my hands as he nervously ran his thumbs across them. I could feel my own tears as his voice wavered.

"Kasia, I need you to know that I never intended to hurt you that day. There is no excuse. I was so wrapped up in that anger, just like you said. I just let my rage take over. I didn't even remember what happened until Skinny told me, but when I saw your wrist... I don't know. I felt like the worst person on Earth. Shifty told me that day that I'd just blown the best thing that ever happened to me, and he was right. I wanted to apologize so many times, but I just couldn't figure out where to start. Then you were gone. Maybe deep down, I realized that I wasn't ready. I wasn't where I needed to be. Well, I'm there now. I won't lie. I went through some really rough times, but Maloney over there," he gestured with his head toward our former chaplain, who waved at us.

"He's been counseling me for the last eight months. I've let go of the anger. I bought my shop, and this house, and I've fixed it up myself. I'm in a good, happy place. The only thing left was to give you the apology that you have deserved for the last three years. I know you're here with George. I don't know if y'all are serious yet or what, but I'm not trying to win you back. I just want to make peace so that maybe we can start over as friends."

Before I could respond, George came walking over. He was carrying Lily, who looked to be asleep.

"Hey, I'm so sorry to interrupt. Joe, would you mind if I put her on your couch? It's been a busy night for her."

Joe was startled and speechless, finally sputtering, "Yeah. Yeah, of course. That's fine."

"Thanks. Kas, her bag is on the porch, right?" I nodded and watched Joe's face as he looked between me and George's retreating figure.

"I'm sorry, Joe. That's what I wanted to tell you."

"You have a daughter," he said aloud, although more to himself than to me. He sat down hard in the chair and I knelt in front of him. "You married George and had a baby, and Bill never told me."

"Joe, I do have a daughter, but George and I aren't married. We aren't engaged. We aren't even together."

"Well, what the hell is wrong with him?"

I laughed at the fierceness in his voice. At first he seemed upset at the thought that we were married, and now he was mad at the thought that George hadn't married me when I had his baby.

"Don't laugh. I'm serious. You should be married and have a house and…"

"Joe, she's not his. Believe me, you'd think she was from the way he spoils her, but she's not."

"Then who do I have to kill? Or have Bill and Toye already taken care of that?"

I laughed again, but before I could answer, George came walking back over to us with an apologetic look and a crying toddler.

"I'm sorry. She woke up and came back out here wanting you. Probably just from waking up in a strange house."

"Aww, come here sweet girl. It's okay. Do you want mommy?"

I held out my arms for her, but she had made eye contact with Joe, and she was studying him carefully. Then, to the surprise of all three of us, she reached out for him. Joe looked over at me, as if to ask if it was okay, and I nodded so he took her from George's arms.

George smiled at me and patted my shoulder before he walked away, whispering in my ear, "It's going to be okay."

"Hello, sweetheart."

"Her name is Lily."

"Hi, Lily. I'm Joe."

My tears renewed themselves when she giggled and put her tiny hands against his cheeks, saying, in her best toddler-speak, "I know that, silly."

Joe looked up at me in surprise, so I explained, "She knows who you are. I've showed her pictures."

"You showed her pictures of me? Why?"

"She likes looking at pictures from Easy. She likes seeing her uncles in their uniforms. You're in a lot of those pictures. I had no reason not to tell her who you were."

"Oh, ok. How old is she? She's talking well. Must be smart like her mama," he joked, bouncing her so that she giggled and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Two. She'll be three in November."

I waited for the realization to set in. Joe was a smart guy. It didn't take long.

"Three in November? That can't be right. That would mean that you were pregnant before you ever left Europe."

I nodded and wiped the tears from my eyes, but they just kept coming. My answer came out quiet and choked.

"Joe, her full name is Lily Darrellyn Liebgott."


	28. Chapter 27

**** JOE POV ****

This child that I'm holding is my daughter. I have a daughter. The shock washed over me, and I thought for a moment that I might pass out. Suddenly feeling the need for more privacy than the back yard provided, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house.

I was careful to be gentle, as I certainly didn't want to scare her or Lily. My daughter. A number of the guys looked concerned, and I realized that most of them had probably known that I had a child before I knew. It didn't make me mad, but it gnawed at me a little bit, as though there was something I was missing. Why didn't anyone tell me?

I walked her all the way to my upstairs guest room, shutting the door and laying Lily down on the bed. Then I turned back toward Kasia.

"I'm so sorry, Joe… I know I should have told you, but…"

"That's what Nixon was talking about when they sent you home. That's what Shifty told Spiers. You were pregnant."

She was almost sobbing. This must be the mistake she thought she had made. Keeping Lily from me.

"Daddy made mommy cry."

My heart broke as she crawled toward Kasia, who sat down on the bed next to her and sniffed back her tears.

"No, sweetheart. Mommy's okay. I promise. Daddy didn't do anything. You know how you cry sometimes when you're tired? Well, Mommy is just really tired. You lie down and go night-night, okay? We'll tuck you in and leave the lamp on. This is Daddy's house, so you're safe. We'll be just across the hall."

"Okay, Mommy."

Kasia gave her a kiss and tucked the blankets around her. She reached for me and I leaned down so she could hug me and kiss my cheek.

"Good night, Princess."

"Night, Daddy."

She was out before we left the room, and we left the door cracked and went into my bedroom.

"Daddy?"

"She knows who you are, Joe. She knows you're her Daddy. That's why she knew who you were earlier. She has a picture of you by her bed at home."

I sat down on the bed, trying to process the last few minutes. The bed shifted as she sat down beside me.

* * *

"She knows who you are. She asked a few months ago where you were, and I just told her that you were off being a soldier. I'm sorry, Joe. I shouldn't have kept her from you."

"Nobody told me," he said quietly, looking at the floor. "Everyone knew, and none of them told me."

I waited for him to tell me what a horrible person I was, or to blame me for the time he had missed. I waited for him to get upset over knowing that all of the guys knew and didn't tell him. I waited for him to tell me that he hated me for what I'd done. He looked up at me with sad eyes and I took a deep breath, prepared for him to tell me that he couldn't forgive me.

"I really was that bad, wasn't I?"

"What?" I was lost. That wasn't the response I had expected.

"For a second, I was upset that you'd kept me from the first three years of her life. But when I looked at how upset you were, and I realized that everyone else already knew… You were worried about me hurting you or Lily. They all saw how I treated you after Landsberg. None of you told me because I couldn't control my anger, and you were afraid that if I lost it again, I could hurt one of you. I had already thrown you into that wall, and… oh my God…" His eyes snapped up to mine, and he looked terrified as he finished, "You were pregnant then."

"Yeah," I confirmed. "I found out that day at the hospital."

"I could have killed Lily."

Now he was crying again. This conversation was not what I had been expecting, but Bill was right. Joe was different, and truly remorseful.

"But you didn't."

"But I could have. My rage could have killed her before we even knew about her."

I took his hands in mine until he looked at me again.

"But you didn't. She's here. She's happy and healthy and surrounded by love. I'm so sorry that I kept her from you, but I'm glad you understand my reasons. Bill told me that you had changed. He was right. If you want to be part of her life, you can see her as much as you want."

He stood up, pacing beside the bed as he thought through everything.

"You're on the other side of the country."

"We will figure it out."

"I'll sell the house and move. I've already missed too much. I want to be there for her every day."

"No! You've got the shop. And you've got Maloney here to counsel you. And why would you ever want to leave this place? It's beautiful. If anyone is going to move, it'll be me. It's time for me to get out of Bill's house anyway. He and Fran will be making babies of their own soon."

He stopped pacing and looked down at me.

"You'd move here? Away from Shifty and Bill and Toye and George?"

"I'd consider it. We can always visit back and forth. They would want me to do what is best for Lily. She has a lot of uncles, but she needs her daddy. Besides," I continued, standing up in front of him, "three of them are engaged, and George has been dating somebody pretty seriously. They are all launching their own lives, and I need to do the same thing. I want what Bill and Fran have someday."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Well, if I move here, I will need to find a job and a place to live. Ha, I actually asked Bill if this house was for sale when we got here, before I knew it was yours. You've done such a great job with it."

"Thanks... um... well... You can stay here if you want. I mean, until you find another place you like. There's plenty of room, and I'm going to need to fix up a room for Lily anyway. I'm sure I've got plenty at the shop you can do, like the bookkeeping and stuff. You know me. I can do it, but I hate it."

I laughed and nodded. "Okay. Yeah, that could work."

He was chewing on his bottom lip like he wanted to ask me something.

"What is it, Joe?"

"What about us?" he asked quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I never stopped loving you, Kasia. No matter what I said. I loved you then, and I love you now. I don't know how you feel, but I know that if we are going to be back in each other's lives and raising our daughter together… oh my God… we have a daughter together… If we are going to raise our daughter together, we are going to have to deal with those feelings."

"I've always loved you, Joe. That never changed."

"How is that possible?" His voice was almost at a whisper now, and I was acutely aware of how close we were.

"I always knew you were better than you were acting. I just didn't know if you would figure that out. Now, we just need to focus on Lily and take things slow."

"It's probably too soon for me to kiss you, isn't it?"

"Probably."


	29. Chapter 28

**November 1948**

It had been three months since the reunion and the house was full again, this time for Lily's birthday.

By the time the reunion was over, I'd made the decision to move to California. Joe was subjected to what amounted to a military tribunal, seated on a kitchen stool in his living room and facing a panel of Bill, Joe Toye, George, Shifty, Don, and Bull. They questioned him relentlessly, and let him know, in no uncertain terms, what the penalty would be if he were to hurt me or Lily. When they had finished, the group rejoined the ladies in the back yard.

"Doll, I think you're gonna love it out here."

I trusted those guys. If they were convinced, so was I. When the reunion was over, Joe drove to Philadelphia with us and helped move me and Lily to California. She adored the beach, loved playing in the shop while we worked, and quickly learned how to wrap Joe around her little finger. She adapted well, sleeping in the downstairs guest room across from mine while Joe redecorated the room upstairs for her.

It was finally finished, and she had squealed with joy when she saw it that morning. Joe had outdone himself. It was pink and white, with white furniture and a beautiful little bed with her name painted above it. There was a little bookshelf filled with books, a little table and chairs with a tea set, and all of her dolls and teddy bears. Shifty, George, Bill and the girls had come out to visit, and she dragged everyone upstairs to show it off as soon as they came in the door.

Joe and I were in the kitchen, setting up for dinner while she gave her tour. I bent to pull a casserole out of the stove, and Joe popped me on the butt with a dish towel, winking at me as he walked to the refrigerator.

"Nice view."

We had settled into a routine as roommates, coworkers, and parents over the last few months. It felt like things had evolved so naturally that I couldn't even remember when this flirting had started. He made me feel like I was eighteen again, and fresh off the jeep in Aldbourne.

"Behave in front of our guests," I scolded, but giggled anyway.

"Oh, come on Doll, you know we don't mind. I happen to agree with him on the view. Besides, I do that to Franny all the time," smirked Bill as they walked back into the kitchen.

"You hush," I teased, motioning for them all to sit at the table while Joe lifted Lily into a chair and fixed her a plate.

"You know, this really seems to suit you, Joe."

"Yeah, Shifty. It does. Suits me perfect."

A lot of dinner and conversation and a little birthday cake later, and our little party was over. We had big plans to go to the beach the next day, so our guests said their good nights and headed back to the hotel to get some rest.

"You look happy, Kas," Shifty told me as we stood at the front door. "I haven't seen you look like this since Germany."

"I am happy, Shifty. Lily loves it here, and it already feels like home. We miss you guys, but I think we are where we are supposed to be."

He smiled over my shoulder and I realized that Joe was listening, as he agreed, "Yeah, I think you are too. See you tomorrow."

I closed the door behind him and turned. Joe was standing near the stairs, holding Lily. He wasn't smiling, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted to.

"Come on. Let's go put our daughter to bed," he said, motioning with his head toward her new upstairs bedroom.

He let me walk up first, following behind me and laying her down where I had pulled back the blanket. She was already tired, and it took just a few minutes of him reading from her favorite book before she was asleep. I kissed her, and then watched from the doorway as he tucked the blanket around her chin and ran his finger over her curls before kissing her cheek.

"Good night, Princess."

* * *

**** JOE POV ****

We stepped back into the hallway, shutting the door softly, and stood in awkward silence for a moment. I stuck my hands in my pockets like a schoolboy with a crush, and we laughed nervously.

"Well, good night, Joe."

"Good night."

She started toward the stairs. Shit. Hurry up and say something clever.

"Hey."

Not what I had in mind.

"Yeah?"

Well, at least she stopped. Now what?

"Did you mean what you said to Shifty?"

She leaned against the wall and smiled. It was that smile that said "of course I did, you idiot," but it was a smile.

"About being happy here? Of course I did."

I moved closer, so close that I could feel the deep breath she took, and looked down at her. My voice came out so quiet and low that I almost didn't recognize it.

"You were right, you know?"

"About?"

"About belonging here."

"Oh yeah?" she challenged, but her voice was breathy and nervous.

"Yeah. You do belong here. With me."

I put one hand on the wall beside her and ran my fingers along her cheek. It had been so long since I'd done this. Too long.

"With you?"

Her response was weak, and I nodded as she closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. I couldn't wait any longer. Finally, after three long, torturous years, I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers.

Her kiss was like coming home. My hands found their place on her hips, and hers slid around my shoulders as they had so many times in our past life. This dance was one we knew well, and our bodies moved into the rhythm immediately. Her tongue swept across mine and that familiar heat began to build in my stomach.

Leaning my forehead against hers, I closed my eyes and whispered, "Stay up here with me tonight? Please?"

She nodded slightly and I crushed my lips to hers again, lifting her legs around my waist and carrying her into the bedroom. Still holding her, I crawled onto the bed on my knees and laid her back, falling across her. Her hands tangled in my hair, holding me in the kiss until we were both breathless. When we did break away, she gasped my name as I kissed down her neck and it shot right through me.

"God, I've missed hearing that."

To my surprise, she laughed. I looked down into her eyes and she ran her fingers affectionately through my hair.

"That always did get to you."

"What?"

"Me saying your name. You used to love that."

"Still do."

It was quiet for a few seconds. Not an uncomfortable silence. We were just looking at each other, reacquainting ourselves with being so close. Remembering the past, and thinking about the future. Wondering how our lives would be if things had unfolded differently after Landsberg.

"I'm sorry we lost three years, Kas," I said quietly, stroking her cheek.

"I know, Joe. Me too."

"I was so stupid back then. I don't know what in the hell made me think I would ever want to live without you."

She smiled and teased, "You weren't thinking back then."

"You're right. But I'm thinking now."

"Oh? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I don't want to live without you."

"You're not. I'm living here with you."

"No, Kas. You're talking about sharing a house. I'm talking about sharing a life." Her smile was replaced with a look of wide-eyed shock, and I was afraid I had scared her so I raced on, "I mean, we have a home. We have a routine. We have a daughter. You, me, and Lily… we're already a family."

"So what are you saying, Joe?"

What was I saying? I chewed on my bottom lip, feeling her eyes boring into me as I tried to put my thoughts into words.

"I'm saying that when we tuck her daughter in, and get ready to go to bed at night, I don't want to watch you walk down the stairs and into that guest room anymore. I want to be able to lean over to kiss you good night. I want to feel your body next to mine. I want to see your face when I wake up. I want to come up behind you in the kitchen while you're cooking and slide my arms around your waist and kiss your neck. I want to let Lily stay with my mom for a few days and drive up the coast. Spend the whole weekend cuddled up in front of a fire in some little mountain lodge. Or just take you out on an actual date, with dinner and a movie or some dancing. Maybe go to that cliff overlooking the bridge… you know, the one I told you about in Aldbourne the first night you wore that blue dress? You remember what I told you that night, right? About if we had been in San Francisco?"

She swallowed hard and nodded, breathing shallow. She didn't speak, but was playing distractedly with my hair, so I took that as a sign to continue.

"I want to be able to put my hand on your stomach and feel our baby kick. I want Lily to be the oldest in a house full of kids."

"Joe…" She trailed off. Her eyes were shining with tears and she was biting her lip, but I could see the beginning of a smile. I'd played this moment out in my head a million times. This was it. Now or never. Just say it, Joe.

"I know you haven't been in California that long, but we've been moving toward this since you first got to Easy four years ago. Everything that has happened between us, even the bad stuff, happened for a reason. We lost those three years, but in reality, they made me a better person. Better for Lily. Better for you. I don't want to be with anybody else. You're perfect for me. There is not a single thing about you that I would change… except your last name."

"What? Did you just…?"

I pulled the small box from behind our picture on the nightstand and held it open so that she could see the ring inside. She put a hand to her mouth and began to cry.

"Really, Joe? Are you serious?"

"I've been thinking about this since I first saw you standing in the back yard. Lily and the guys helped me pick this out while you girls were shopping this morning. They bought that dress they told me you were looking at earlier and one for Lily too. They're hanging in the closet downstairs. We've got our friends here. We've got the beach. We've got Maloney as a priest. Everything is ready to go. All I need to know, baby…" I choked up for a second as I looked into her eyes. "Is when we wake up tomorrow, will you marry me?"


	30. Chapter 29

"…will you marry me?"

He slid down to the floor and knelt beside the bed with my left hand in his. I sucked in a shuddering breath and let the tears fall, feigning a sad look. Joe's eyes registered fear for a second.

"Well," I said in a mock-serious voice. "At least you asked me this time."

"So that means…?"

I grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him back to my lips for a deep, long kiss. He edged his way back on top of me, groaning as the kiss grew more heated and I pulled his shirt off. He rolled over, pulling me on top of him, and I squealed and giggled. My amusement was short-lived, however, because he sat up quickly and pulled the sundress I had been wearing over my head. His hands were on my back, pushing my body forward to meet his mouth.

"I've missed this, Kas. I've missed kissing you. Touching you."

"Me too."

"Making love to you…"

"I want you to, Joe," I responded quietly, and his eyes met mine.

"I can't, baby. Not yet. You still haven't answered my question. Tell me what you want to do."

"Tonight, I want to be with my fiancé."

"Yes? You're saying yes?"

"I said yes three years ago."

That's all it took. His response was swift and passionate. I was pinned beneath him again, relieved of the remainder of my clothes in between kisses, as the familiar pressure of his lower body weighed against me. I pushed at his trousers. I was desperate for the feel of his skin on mine and he took them off quickly, wasting no time in joining our bodies.

"Fuck, baby…"

He left the rest of the thought unspoken, but we both knew what he meant. It felt so good, and not just in the way that sex brings physical pleasure. It felt good because it was us. It was three long years of trying, and failing, to recapture the passion that we had only ever found with each other. It was renewing our commitment to build a life together.

He took his time that night, lavishing every inch of my body with tender affection unlike anything I'd ever seen from him. I lost track of how many times the stars exploded behind my eyes, but by the time he was spent, I was so deliciously exhausted that I curled into his chest and we fell asleep without another word.

* * *

**** JOE POV ****

I woke up to a knock on the front door, and the morning sun streaming through the window. She was still asleep in my arms, hair splayed wildly across the pillow, with my ring on her finger. It hadn't been a dream. I moved to get up and she opened her eyes and yawned.

"I'm guessing that's Bill pounding on the door?"

I smiled and pushed a strand of hair back off of her face.

"Yeah, probably. We should get dressed. They'll be breaking the door down in a minute." I slid on my trousers and walked over to the window, knocking to get Shifty's attention. He waved and I turned back toward Kasia. She was standing now, still naked, and stretching in the sunlight. "I can't get dressed with you doing that."

She smiled and blew me a kiss over her shoulder before slipping back into her clothes and following me down the stairs. We split off, her to the kitchen to cook something for breakfast and me to let our impatient friends into the house.

"It's about time!" Shifty joked, elbowing me as the group walked inside. "You weren't out of bed yet? It's almost nine. You were always the early riser."

I turned toward the kitchen, my face revealing nothing, and replied, "Long night."

George prodded nervously, "So…?"

We stepped into the kitchen before he could finish, although I knew he wanted to ask me if I had gone through with it, and what she had said. Kasia glanced over and greeted them, her expression passive, knowing that I was giving our curious friends a hard time. They were all staring at us expectantly, like little dogs waiting for a treat.

"You guys hungry? I'm making some breakfast."

"Sure, Doll. Um… so, is everything okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, Joe said it was a long night. I just thought maybe something happened. Maybe something you wanted to talk about?"

Then Fran chimed in. She didn't miss much. Women's intuition, I guess. She had a knowing glint in her eye.

"Wait a minute. How come you're wearing the same clothes you were wearing when we left last night?"

"Because somebody was pounding on the door before I could get downstairs and I couldn't answer the door naked," Kasia answered coolly, shooting a playful glare at Bill.

"Well, I'm so very sorry! I didn't think Joe would still be in…" He stopped, and Kasia and I tried not to laugh as we watched all of them processing what she said. "You woke up naked this morning? And you were upstairs?"

"That's right," I answered, moving next to her. "She was too tired to move her clothes upstairs last night, so we figured that we would worry about that after the wedding. Right, baby?"

She smiled up at me, and I leaned to kiss her as she spoke against my lips.

"Right. Hope you don't mind watching a ceremony on the beach."

The girls squealed, rushing over to hug her and look at the ring. George and Shifty clapped me on the back and congratulated me, and Bill gave me a firm handshake, smiling, but pulling me in close and meeting my eyes.

"Now, do not screw this up."

I chuckled, but I knew he was serious.

"I won't, Bill. This is it. I'm not letting her go again."


	31. Chapter 30

We spent the morning at the beach and the afternoon barbecuing in the backyard. Finally, around 5:30, the girls ordered the guys out of the house so that they could get me ready. They grabbed a change of clothes for Joe and headed to the barbershop so that he could clean up and get dressed as well. As they walked out the door, he hugged Lily and leaned over to give me a soft kiss on the lips and a wink. My heart fluttered.

"I'll see you at the end of the aisle, beautiful."

Fran and the girls spent the next hour perfecting my makeup and hair, and even gave Lily a little makeover of her own. She kept twirling around in front of the mirror and singing that she was a princess, and she looked so precious that I almost started to cry. Fran thrust a tissue into my hand.

"Now, now. None of that. At least not yet!"

That got a laugh, and I let her finish my hair before slipping into my dress. My wedding dress. I hadn't really paid attention at the time but, except for the color, it was almost identical to the blue dress that Joe had laid on my bunk in Aldbourne so long ago. The one I'd worn the night we first admitted that there was something between us. The one I'd worn the night we found each other again. It seemed fitting. Our lives had come full circle, and the dress was a symbol of that.

I took a last, long look in the mirror, and Fran's smiling face appeared behind me.

"You ready to go marry that man?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

**** JOE POV ****

Shifty trimmed my hair, and I took a quick shower in the back room. I was calm. That's how I knew it was for real this time. I was eager and excited, but I was calm. There were no voices whispering unknowns and what-ifs into my head. There was only the sound of my heartbeat and the rehearsing of what I wanted to say.

Maloney and my family met us as the beach, and I found that my mother had brought along a friend with a camera so that we would have pictures of the night. She hugged me and told me how proud she was. Then she handed me my grandmother's wedding ring.

"I've been holding onto this for a long time, Joseph. Now, you take it and put it where it belongs."

I saw our car park near the boardwalk, and Fran got out of the driver's side. I saw Kasia get out, but the girls stepped in front of her so that I wasn't able to see her right away. My family had arranged their chairs so that there was an aisle, and Shifty walked over to escort her down it.

From somewhere nearby, music began to play. I looked over to see that Maloney had brought a friend who was playing the violin. The sun was just dropping in the sky. The girls smiled at me as they walked down the aisle and stood beside Bill and George, and everyone stood up. The music changed, flowing into the Bridal March. I felt the emotion welling up inside me and my heart began to pound. I sucked in a deep breath. Bill grinned and winked at me. I gave him a nervous smile and looked back down at the end of the aisle, where I could see Shifty kissing her cheek as they stood hidden behind the guests.

Lily walked up the aisle, scattering some flower petals that my mother had brought along. My precious baby girl.

Then, there she was. The most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She smiled at me with glistening eyes, biting her bottom lip as Shifty placed her hand in mine. I don't know that Hitler himself could have wiped the smile from my face. Maloney asked who was giving her away, and three simultaneous responses made the whole group laugh.

"We do."

She reached up and brushed my cheek with her thumb, wiping a tear away as we repeated the vows Maloney was reciting. When we got to the rings, I knew she would not have had time to get one, so I was a little surprised when she placed one on my finger. Then I looked down and realized that it was my grandfathers. My mom smiled at me from the front row, motioning me to continue.

"Would you like to recite any vows of your own before we continue?" Maloney asked.

She looked up at me with tears on her cheeks, and I smiled as I wiped them away.

"Joe, there hasn't been a single day that I regretted loving you. You are the person that I want to spend forever with. It took a while, but we have built the life we talked about. Our home. Our business. Our daughter. There is no place else I would rather be than here with you."

I cleared my throat as my own tears fell before I could blink them back.

"Kasia, I never told you this, but the truth is that by the time we were standing in that field in Aldbourne, I was already head over heels in love with you. You were beautiful, and smart, and strong, and fearless. You challenged me and you didn't take any of my crap, but I always knew you were there if I needed you. I used to wake up some nights and look over to where you were sleeping on your bunk, and wonder if I'd ever get to wake up next to you like that at home. Since we met, I've seen you run headlong into battle. I've agonized over you being wounded, and admired you as you fought back. I've seen you hurt, and I've been the one who did the hurting. I've watched you walk out of my life, and I've learned so much from you, but especially that I don't ever want to live without you again. You and Lily… you two are my whole world. I promise that I will protect you, and hold you, and love you every single day for the rest of our lives."

"By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Joe, please… finally… kiss your bride."

* * *

We had a reception at the house that night because Joe's mother insisted that her daughter-in-law was not going to miss out on a reception, even at the last minute. She had sent some friends to the house while we were gone, and they had set up a record player on the porch and laid out a buffet of fruit, finger sandwiches, and a small wedding cake for us to cut. Her friend spent the evening capturing photos of everything, and she would later give me a beautiful album with all of the pictures in it.

Joe and I shared our first dance under the stars in our backyard, and then he picked up Lily so that she could join us for the second. Bill, George, and Shifty each took a turn while Joe danced with Lily and his mother. Then he walked back over as George kissed my cheek at the end of a song.

"George, if you don't mind, I'd like to dance with my wife."

I couldn't have planned anything more beautiful.

Joseph William was born nine months later. We've had six more since then, and Joe has been there every single moment. He's an amazing father, and nothing makes me happier than watching him play with our kids in the back yard, or read bedtime stories to them at night. I didn't think it was possible, but I think we are more in love now than we were the day we married.

It was a long, and sometimes very hard road, but it was worth every single second of waiting.


	32. Epilogue

**Well... this is it. Thanks to all who have been reading and reviewing. I hope that I've made this story worth your while. Please keep reading my other stories! You're the best!**

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

Joe passed by on the way to the kitchen as I was finishing my story, kissing the top of my head. At my feet, our grandson rolled his eyes at the display of affection with all the disgust that one would expect from a boy of ten.

"Grandpa, why do you always kiss Grandma and hold her hand and stuff? She's a girl."

Our teenaged granddaughter answered quickly, "So? I think it's romantic. Didn't you hear the story? He holds her hand because he loves her."

Our grandson was silent for a minute, and then asked quietly, "Grandpa, do you think I'll ever find a girl to love as much as you love Grandma?"

"I hope so, Joey. I really hope so."


End file.
